Mobility

This is about Social Mobility.

I have no idea what it means but I think, from listening to the short-arsed sponging twat Blears earlier, it means this:

Folk from "lower class" (her words) backgrounds do not have the same start in life as those from "middle class" (again, her words) backgrounds.

And to that, I say, "THAT'S BOLLOCKS."

Read my blog. I wasn't born with a silver spoon. We had no silver, not even pewter, nor even a pot in which to piss. I learnt to eat fast so I got most. I now eat incredibly slowly.

My old man, who is ace, had about 47265 jobs before I got to secondary school. I passed the 11+, which was a stupid thing designed to put the non-thick in a different place from the thick. They must have got the results mixed up. So, anyway, I went to "public" skool, because there wasn't a "normal" "grammar" skool anywhere near. I was there six months. I was expelled for setting fire to a prefect. Stupid me, fancy picking one who was going to grass me up.

Having been thrown out, my old man winged his way into a job by bullshit and nadgering his way in. He bought the first house we "owned" (banks owned it). I was, and still am, a cunt. I took O levels, most of which I failed with flying colours, then A levels (same as), passed music brilliantly, failed the rest. It was the worst skool in the country bar none. Ben Elton went to it. Wanker.

I went for a job and got it because I am full of shit, and set fire to the governor's Jag in the first week. By dint of having bollocks the size of coconuts and blaming some other poor sod, I was kept on.

I knew already that there were more people than jobs. I didn't want to end up like I used to be. So I licked arse, sucked cock, and generally, when asked to jump, asked "how high, Sir?"

And now, DESPITE fucking job agents, I'm doing pretty well.

I still lick arse. I still suck cock. And I see people, daily, who don't, and who don't last.

NO politician put me where I am, nor could they.

YOU make of life what YOU want to make of it. I'm not bright. I'm not even cunning, like a fox who's been to the University of Cunning, Cunningsville. I've just been where I don't want to be, and I ain't going there again.

So, Hazel, fuck off.