Mostly Bollogs, I'm afraid

But occasionally, a glimmer of truth.
If you find one, please let me know.



Wednesday, 30 August 2017

Guardian

The Tories are cruel.

When I were a lad, we had free school milk. I can't drink milk now, because the smell of it reminds me of when it was in the playground on sunny days, and against the radiator indoors in the winter.

If I knew then, as I know now, that the reason for this was to encourage the growth of bacteria to curdle the milk, thus putting off the unsuspecting children and thus saving public money, I would have been more proud of my lofty position of "milk monitor" and, if necessary, force fed my peers, nasally, with a bicycle pump instead of helping them to dispose of the product in plant pots and down the drains.

But no. I literally swallowed the idea that this milk was our blessed government's way of showing us that they loved us and looked after us.

And all was well, until the epitome of evil, Margaret Thatcher, took away the milk. And started a war with Germany. Or was it the Argentinians?

That's why I hate the Tories. They are vile, uncaring scumbags who are trying to destroy the NHS by stopping people having operations to become what they want to be, whether that be a different sex, or even in some cases a sex which hasn't yet been invented. Or aliens.

And they should be worried.

I know I am.

Had Kim Yong Un had school milk he would have grown up to be strong and virile and not have to wave his nuclear willy at Japan and start World War III.

But this is all in the past. Quantum ille canis, in fenstra est? I hear you ask, as if you understood Latin.

And with that, I let you draw you own conclusions. Vote early in the next election. and if you're in Tower Hamlets, vote often.

Real Pengy.

Monday, 31 July 2017

German

This is an email I received from a lady in Germany a couple of weeks ago. I thought I'd share it. Not my words, but hers.

A different perspective from some, I guess.

"About what we talked about concerning the refugee crisis in 2015: What Angela Merkel did then, might have had the wrong effect, spreading news that Germany "invites“ refugees in. But from how I experienced the situation back then, it was a humanitarian measure in a crisis and a situation that could easily have gone terribly wrong claiming many lives. You also need to take our history into account. After the war Germany was not severely punished and totally crushed for what they had done but helped and supported to grow into a democratic and prosperous country. So, I somehow also see it as an act of gratefulness of a country that is doing well, helping others in an emergency. I personally respect Merkel for what she did back then. The side effects were, however, enormous and in the face of a new wave of migrants, this kind of approach can´t continue. Putting people up for a limited amount of time is relatively easy but integrating them into society so that they don´t feel permanently on the margin is much more complicated and can only work if many, many individuals help make it possible by supporting those families and their children to get jobs, housing and education. As we´ve seen with France for example, frustration and segregation breeds violence. Maybe I´m a bit idealistic, but I´ve met and befriended several refugee families and I see them as individuals like me and you. A politician, of course, has to take the global picture into account and that might lead to a different point of view."


Thursday, 29 June 2017

Tories

Hello everyone.

It's my birthday today. I'm getting on a bit. I'm happy because Stephanie at work made me a cakepie which was fab and had hooky red bull, a choc cake from Tesco, pork pies and candles. Yes, I know it's weird. So am I.

That's me. That's what I am. I love pork pies, sausage rolls, curry, cider, cider, cider and fags. And sometimes I even eat veg.

I'm overweight. I'm overaged. I'm quite good at what I do because I have done it for a long time.

I like going on Twitter because I like to chill out after a journey home sitting behind idiots in lorries who don't know how to judge that they're not going faster than the other one. Idiots in Skoda Fabia (2017 plate) which makes me wonder who they bought the tools from, Wartburg or Trabant. And where the pillock driving it got his licence. I wonder lots of things like that.

Then when I get on Twitter and say Hello Everyone, I see some awesome people. Nice people. People who talk about veg or trees or birds or what you had for dinner or kinky sex or tits and tatts or cake. Or pie. Or norks.

But mostly what I see is what some bloody politician said. I don't even mind that, but then I get Tory or Socialism. Or black. Or white. Or gay.

Like what am I? I'm not any of those things. I've been watching my 18 yo showing my 16 yo how to walk in heels. I've been pissing myself laughing, because my kids are fabulous. I don't want any kind of bloody government. I don't hate Tories. I know a few and they're ever so nice. I don't want Socialism. I know a few socialists and they're ever so nice. I know a few pissheads, bikers, vicars (far too many), bored housewives, singers, drummers, engineers, designers, poledancers, unemployed folk, disabled folk, kids, ancient old farts, publicans, ex-soldiers, pilots, just actual people.

I don't know what a Tory is. I know that people hate them. Please stop hating people. It makes you look stupid. It makes my Twitter not worth coming home to.

Please, just for tonight?

Thursday, 16 February 2017

Aaron

This won't fit in a tweet.

This chap Aaron was asking for money last week. He needs £50 to get into some hostel so that he can have an address so he can get a job.

I have an address. I have a job. I have never tried getting a job without an address o I have no idea, but it sounds difficult. Also it's cold out.

Anyway. I bunged him £20 as I can afford it.

Someone else bunged him £20. Apparently the bunger is a Muslim and says he's defied Aslan or some such bollocks so he took his £20 back.

Since then a kind lady has given him another £20. So he's £10 short.

Here is why I think this guy is genuine. When Muslim man took his money back Aaron wanted  to give me mine back too.

I told him to fuck off.

If you have a spare tenner and don't think this is a scam, feel free to contact Aaron.

If you think it is a scam then I've been had. Won't be the first time, won't be the last.

I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt. Read his tweets if you like?

Cheers,

Pengs.

Wednesday, 8 February 2017

Deo

Right. Had enough of this shit. Sorry, but this will be a rant.

Islam. Muslims. Trump. MAGA. Brexit. This is what I think. You don't have to think it. If you don't like it, the door's over there *points at door*

I think Muslims are stupid. I also think Christians are stupid. As are people who support a football team, people who support a political party, people who think the NHS is brilliant.

Only, though, if they are unquestioning.

Most Muslims are born into Islam. They are brainwashed. Christians, ditto. Most other religions. This is mainly the fault of Saudis, the British State, and pot growers (in the case of Haile Selassie's Rastas).

Most people who support a football team do it because of peer pressure. Really. Think back to WHY you do. Most of you don't live there and have never been there, FFS.

If you think ANY political party gives a toss about anything other than being in power, try to stop fooling yourself.

The NHS is a seething sinkhole of waste. It's a bloody good idea, and it's fucked up beyond recognition.

Now have this. The REASON why ANY of these things even are a THING is because hoomin beans have a built-in need to deify something or someone. That's why they created all these bloody Gods. Or gods.

There is no fucking Messiah. Katie Sodding Hopkins isn't a goddess, she's an overpaid racist arsehole who gets her money from winding you up. Don't let her. Many other such idiots on Twitter, Milo for instance. And there are loads of minor ones.

For FUCK'S sake. Wake up. Grow up. Shut up.

If you want someone to hate, look at the ones who are steering your anger. Your fear. Unfollow them. All of them. Stop reading the bloody papers. It's all shite.

Or don't. It's up to you. But do NOT tweet hate into my timeline, please. If you do, I will block you, and report you. I will also ridicule you, and treat you like the garbage that you are.

Love and hugs

Pengy xx

Monday, 14 November 2016

Black

They is all black and they ain't born here so they should go hoam agan,

I hope Katie Hopkinds will publicise my blog for me.

Monday, 26 September 2016

Rich

Mr Corbyn will raise the minimum wage to £10 ph. I have no idea what it is now, probably about £6? £7?

This will make everyone better off if they are not good earners. By 30% or so.

This will then make the evil bosses earn more, and then everything will go up by 30% or so, and interest rates will rise, and nobody will be able to afford a house (like they can now, oh yes).

Well done him. Twat. If it were that simple, it would have been done. Everyone likes to buy votes.

Here is my method to better yourself, if you work on the minimum wage. Unless you are fairly disabled (which I'm not), I can't see why this won't work. It did for me.

1. Fail most of your O levels or GCSEs.
2. Don't go to university.
3. Try being skint for a bit. And I mean skint. You don't know what skint is.
4. Get fed up with it.
5. Try every fucking thing until you find something you don't mind doing that you seem to be good at.
6. Work like fuck. Do it for next to nothing to get the job.
7. Do what's expected then when you've done that do it again, twice.
8. Spend your evenings learning shit.
9. Spot an opportunity and grasp it by the neck and wring it out until it begs for mercy.
10. Repeat steps 6 to 8.
11. Repeat step 10.
12. Stop moaning.

I hope this helps. Don't argue with it until you've given it a try. No, not  couple of weeks, half a fucking lifetime. Then come back to me.

I had the same start as you did. Trust me.