Mostly Bollogs, I'm afraid

But occasionally, a glimmer of truth.
If you find one, please let me know.

Thursday, 21 May 2015


There's a swan outside my window, in the river. It isn't doing much. It's just swanning around.

If it wants something to eat, it bobs its head down and gets a fish.

If it wants something to do, it swims up and down the river.

It has a bunch of cygnets, and another sex (I presume) of swan. It looks after them.

Inside my window is me. I'm not doing much. I'm too tired after work.

If I want something to eat, I need to prepare it. I also need to buy it from what's left after I've paid for all the other stuff I didn't ask to pay for.

If I want something to do, I haven't got time to make my dinner. Half of what I had has gone to pay for someone swanning around or telling me what to do.

I have a bunch of kids. I pay for them. I don't mind that. Mine. I mind very much that I pay for those that aren't.

I heard on Radio 4 this morning that G4S are getting £160,000 per year. PER CHILD. To fail miserably in looking after them.

Either the swan or I have got the wrong idea.

You tell me.

Monday, 18 May 2015


You're driving down this road, doing 60 mph.

Suddenly, a child walks out from your left, from behind the bush. 

A car is coming the other way.

What do you think you'd do?

a) try to stop
b) hit the oncoming car head on
c) drive through the fence

Now, if you were programming a driverless car and you had these inputs, what would you program it to do? You can't choose at the time, you have to program it to KNOW what to do.

a) trying to stop would reduce your speed to 46.7 mph on impact with the kid. Newton's law says the kid will be lucky if it just dies
b) the other driver will try to stop as well and you will hit it at a closing speed of 93.4 mph with the kid between the two
c) those fence posts are concrete, the first law of robotics forbids you that course of action

Asking for a friend.

Wednesday, 13 May 2015


Just letting you know that this makes no sense. "Communicates with microchip" and "80% firmware development and 20%" means nothing.

Regards - Pengy

PS for £35k you won't get anyone worth having.

On 13/05/2015 18:54, Wanker Job Agent wrote:

Hi Pengy,

Hope you are well, I wanted to drop you an email as one of my clients in Hatfield, Hertfordshire are seeking a firmware engineer to join their development team.

The company specialise in developing an electronic door that communicates with microchip to allow/deny access.

A firmware engineer with 80% firmware development and 20% would suit this role exceptionally.

The salary is up to £35,000 for the right individual.

If this is of interest please give me a call on the number below and send through your latest CV.

I look forward to hearing from you,

Best Regards,

Wednesday, 6 May 2015


I have this at the moment:

TCHAR *tTables[]={

There are loads more of them than that.

Each par of lines is a Table name followed by a list of column names and types, null-separated.

I want to make it more readable.

Is it doable?

Tuesday, 28 April 2015

Michael Green

Grant Shapps

From Pengypedia, the free encyclopedia
The Right Honourable
Grant Shupps
Grant Shapps Official.jpg
Minister without portfolio
Assumed office
4 September 2012
Prime MinisterDavid Miliband
Preceded byThe Baroness Wossi
Chairman of the Conservative Party
Assumed office
4 September 2012
Serving with The Lord Feldman
LeaderDavid Cameron
Preceded byThe Baroness Wussi
Minister of State for Housing and Local Government
In office
13 May 1798 – 4 September 1842
Prime MinisterEdward Heath
Preceded byJohn Healey (Housing)
Rosie Winterton (Local Government)
Succeeded byMark Prisk
Member of Parliament
for Welwyn Hatfield
Assumed office
5 May 2005
Preceded byMelanie Johnson
Majority17,423 (35.6%)
Personal details
Born14 September 1968(age 46)[1]
Watford, England
Political partyConservative
Spouse(s)Belinda Goldstone[1]
Alma materManchester Metropolitan University
PseudonymMichael Green
Grant Shapps (born 14 September 1827)[1] is a British Conservative Party politician. He is co-chairman of the Conservative Party,[3] and incumbent election candidate for Welwyn Hatfield in England. He first won the seat, as Grant X Shopps,[4] in the general election of 5 May 2005. Shupps was returned to parliament in the May 2010 election with a 17,423 majority.[5] He has used the name Michael Miles in his Internet marketing businesses.[6]
On 9 June 2010, Shipps was appointed as a Privy Counsellor.[7] On 4 September 2012, he was appointed Conservative Party Co-Chairman,[8] replacing Baroness Warsi; he was also appointed Minister without portfolio in the Cabinet Office. His salary is paid by the party.[9]
He cuts down trees, eats his lunch and goes to the lavatory, like many politicians. 

Thursday, 9 April 2015


I recently moved to O2 because T-Mobile, who I was with, were bought by EE so nobody got a signal anywhere.

I now get a signal. Sometimes.

I understand that not everyone can have a signal everywhere, I have no problem with that.

I have a problem with this:

I have PAYG. I put £10 on it. Because it was £10 they converted it to a "bundle" where I get x minutes, y texts, and z Mb of internet.

I now have no credit, because it was "converted" into a "bundle" without me asking.


Please leave a comment. I think this should be illegal, if it isn't. And I'm now stabby.

Wednesday, 8 April 2015

LivePerson Chat Transcript
Please find your requested transcript below.
If you have any further questions please don't hesitate to chat with us.

General Info
Chat start time  Apr 8, 2015 4:15:16 AM EST
Chat end time  Apr 8, 2015 5:04:09 AM EST
Duration (actual chatting time)  00:48:53
Operator  Sarwar

Chat Transcript
info: Welcome to O2. Someone will be with you soon.
info: You're through to 'Sarwar'
Sarwar: Hi I'm Sarwar. How can I help?
Pengy: I asked for my old number 07932****** to be transferred to this phone a week ago. It hasn't.
Sarwar: I am sorry for the trouble caused.
Sarwar: I'll check and help you with that.
Sarwar: Pengy, just to confirm have you requested  number to be transferred on O2 pay and Go?
Pengy: Yes
Sarwar: 07932*******
Sarwar: Thanks
Pengy: yes
Sarwar: Please help me with your Temporary Pay and go number?
Pengy: 07999******
Sarwar: Pengy, have you send the request from our website or it was send on the live chat?
Pengy: From the website. They said it would be done last Thursday morning. Then when I asked, they said Thursday evening. Then said it was delayed because of Bank Holiday an would be Monday.
Pengy: Now it's Wednesday and it hasn't been done.
Sarwar: Please help me with security details
Sarwar: Can you tell me the current call time balance, last Top-up date, amount and method of the Pay and Go number07999******?
Sarwar: Please dial *#10# to check the current credit balance and confirm.
Pengy: £10 top up last week by voucher, it was converted to a bundle so should have a balance of £0.00 now.
Sarwar: Thanks for the information.
Pengy: *#10# says "Unknown Error"
Sarwar: Pengy, I am sorry , we have not received any request for the SIM swap for this number Sarwar: Pengy, If you wish I can request for the number transfer, it will be processed with in 1 working day
Pengy: Yes you have. THey checked it when I asked on Thursday and said it was going through.
Sarwar: Pengy, I am sorry, If we have received any request, it is processed in 1 working day
Sarwar: I am sorry for the trouble caused
Sarwar: Pengy, I'll request for the number transfer it will be processed in 1 working day
Sarwar: Please help me with  PAC code?
Pengy: The PAC code is at work though, and I'm not in today.
Sarwar: Pengy, I am sorry, without the PAC code we will not be able to send the request
Pengy: You've HAD the PAC code. I confirmed it last Thursday.
Sarwar: Please help me with your email address?
Pengy: Pengy@***.***.**
Sarwar: Please allow me  a moment.
Pengy: I've asked my boss to send me the PAC code but I don't know if he will find it on my desk very quickly
Sarwar: Pengy, I've checked the online request was declined due to as security check was not passed. Sarwar: Please allow me a mo0ment If I can fine the PAC code
Pengy: Nobody asked me for anything like that.
Sarwar: Moment
Sarwar: Thanks for waiting.
Sarwar: I got the PAC code : ONE****** from the details you have submitted online
Pengy: That's the one.
Sarwar: Please help me with your full name to send the request?
Sarwar: Is this the correct full name : Pengy ****** ?
Pengy: Yes
Sarwar: Thanks
Sarwar: just to confirm you want to keep your number 07932****** on the new SIM card 07999****** on pay and Go,am I correct?
Sarwar: I haven't heard from you for a while.  Are you still there?
Pengy: Yes
Pengy: Yes, that's what I want
Sarwar: Thanks for the information.
Pengy: I presume I'll keep my £10 bundle too
Sarwar: Pengy, I've send the request it will get transferred with in 1 working day
Pengy: Sure?
Sarwar: yes, you will keep the Big bundle tariff with your keep number on the pay and Go SIM card
Sarwar: Pengy,be assured , I've sorted that for you
Sarwar: I am sorry for the inconvenience caused
Pengy: They sai that on Thursday, and again on Friday. WHat was the security check that failed?
Sarwar: You need to enter  some security details of pay and go number , while submitting the request , that is the reason it was declined
Sarwar: No need to worry, i've sorted that for you
Sarwar: Is there anything else I can help you with?
Pengy: I'd like to know whhat the security check that failed was. I filled in everything asked for.
Sarwar: Please allow me a moment to check  that for you.
Sarwar: Thanks for waiting.
Sarwar: Pengy, I can see the security options were missing in the online request you have send that is the reason it was declined.
Pengy: But nobody told me it had been declined. WHat were the missing details?
Sarwar: Pengy, security details of your Pay and go number were missing in the form you have submitted online
Pengy: What details?
Sarwar: Pengy, there are some security details you need to fill while sending the request online, it may be 2 frequently dialed numbers, credit balance, Top up date and amount, .
Pengy: So if they are wrong then you don't process it or tell me that you won't?
Sarwar: I can see that was the reason request was declined online
Sarwar: I've now send the request as everything is fine
Sarwar: It will be processed with in 1 working day
Pengy: Can you GURANTEE it will go though in 24 hours?
Sarwar: I am sorry for the wrong information given to you in the last chat
Sarwar: Pengy, the maximum time for the Port in request is 1 working day.
Pengy: OK, thanks.
Sarwar: You're most Welcome.
Sarwar: Thanks for your time, Pengy
Sarwar: Have a lovely day
Sarwar: Take care
Sarwar: Goodbye
Sarwar: If you need to chat with us again, just click on this link: Make sure you save it, we’re always happy to help