Mostly Bollogs, I'm afraid

But occasionally, a glimmer of truth.
If you find one, please let me know.

Thursday, 29 June 2017


Hello everyone.

It's my birthday today. I'm getting on a bit. I'm happy because Stephanie at work made me a cakepie which was fab and had hooky red bull, a choc cake from Tesco, pork pies and candles. Yes, I know it's weird. So am I.

That's me. That's what I am. I love pork pies, sausage rolls, curry, cider, cider, cider and fags. And sometimes I even eat veg.

I'm overweight. I'm overaged. I'm quite good at what I do because I have done it for a long time.

I like going on Twitter because I like to chill out after a journey home sitting behind idiots in lorries who don't know how to judge that they're not going faster than the other one. Idiots in Skoda Fabia (2017 plate) which makes me wonder who they bought the tools from, Wartburg or Trabant. And where the pillock driving it got his licence. I wonder lots of things like that.

Then when I get on Twitter and say Hello Everyone, I see some awesome people. Nice people. People who talk about veg or trees or birds or what you had for dinner or kinky sex or tits and tatts or cake. Or pie. Or norks.

But mostly what I see is what some bloody politician said. I don't even mind that, but then I get Tory or Socialism. Or black. Or white. Or gay.

Like what am I? I'm not any of those things. I've been watching my 18 yo showing my 16 yo how to walk in heels. I've been pissing myself laughing, because my kids are fabulous. I don't want any kind of bloody government. I don't hate Tories. I know a few and they're ever so nice. I don't want Socialism. I know a few socialists and they're ever so nice. I know a few pissheads, bikers, vicars (far too many), bored housewives, singers, drummers, engineers, designers, poledancers, unemployed folk, disabled folk, kids, ancient old farts, publicans, ex-soldiers, pilots, just actual people.

I don't know what a Tory is. I know that people hate them. Please stop hating people. It makes you look stupid. It makes my Twitter not worth coming home to.

Please, just for tonight?

Thursday, 16 February 2017


This won't fit in a tweet.

This chap Aaron was asking for money last week. He needs £50 to get into some hostel so that he can have an address so he can get a job.

I have an address. I have a job. I have never tried getting a job without an address o I have no idea, but it sounds difficult. Also it's cold out.

Anyway. I bunged him £20 as I can afford it.

Someone else bunged him £20. Apparently the bunger is a Muslim and says he's defied Aslan or some such bollocks so he took his £20 back.

Since then a kind lady has given him another £20. So he's £10 short.

Here is why I think this guy is genuine. When Muslim man took his money back Aaron wanted  to give me mine back too.

I told him to fuck off.

If you have a spare tenner and don't think this is a scam, feel free to contact Aaron.

If you think it is a scam then I've been had. Won't be the first time, won't be the last.

I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt. Read his tweets if you like?



Wednesday, 8 February 2017


Right. Had enough of this shit. Sorry, but this will be a rant.

Islam. Muslims. Trump. MAGA. Brexit. This is what I think. You don't have to think it. If you don't like it, the door's over there *points at door*

I think Muslims are stupid. I also think Christians are stupid. As are people who support a football team, people who support a political party, people who think the NHS is brilliant.

Only, though, if they are unquestioning.

Most Muslims are born into Islam. They are brainwashed. Christians, ditto. Most other religions. This is mainly the fault of Saudis, the British State, and pot growers (in the case of Haile Selassie's Rastas).

Most people who support a football team do it because of peer pressure. Really. Think back to WHY you do. Most of you don't live there and have never been there, FFS.

If you think ANY political party gives a toss about anything other than being in power, try to stop fooling yourself.

The NHS is a seething sinkhole of waste. It's a bloody good idea, and it's fucked up beyond recognition.

Now have this. The REASON why ANY of these things even are a THING is because hoomin beans have a built-in need to deify something or someone. That's why they created all these bloody Gods. Or gods.

There is no fucking Messiah. Katie Sodding Hopkins isn't a goddess, she's an overpaid racist arsehole who gets her money from winding you up. Don't let her. Many other such idiots on Twitter, Milo for instance. And there are loads of minor ones.

For FUCK'S sake. Wake up. Grow up. Shut up.

If you want someone to hate, look at the ones who are steering your anger. Your fear. Unfollow them. All of them. Stop reading the bloody papers. It's all shite.

Or don't. It's up to you. But do NOT tweet hate into my timeline, please. If you do, I will block you, and report you. I will also ridicule you, and treat you like the garbage that you are.

Love and hugs

Pengy xx

Monday, 14 November 2016


They is all black and they ain't born here so they should go hoam agan,

I hope Katie Hopkinds will publicise my blog for me.

Monday, 26 September 2016


Mr Corbyn will raise the minimum wage to £10 ph. I have no idea what it is now, probably about £6? £7?

This will make everyone better off if they are not good earners. By 30% or so.

This will then make the evil bosses earn more, and then everything will go up by 30% or so, and interest rates will rise, and nobody will be able to afford a house (like they can now, oh yes).

Well done him. Twat. If it were that simple, it would have been done. Everyone likes to buy votes.

Here is my method to better yourself, if you work on the minimum wage. Unless you are fairly disabled (which I'm not), I can't see why this won't work. It did for me.

1. Fail most of your O levels or GCSEs.
2. Don't go to university.
3. Try being skint for a bit. And I mean skint. You don't know what skint is.
4. Get fed up with it.
5. Try every fucking thing until you find something you don't mind doing that you seem to be good at.
6. Work like fuck. Do it for next to nothing to get the job.
7. Do what's expected then when you've done that do it again, twice.
8. Spend your evenings learning shit.
9. Spot an opportunity and grasp it by the neck and wring it out until it begs for mercy.
10. Repeat steps 6 to 8.
11. Repeat step 10.
12. Stop moaning.

I hope this helps. Don't argue with it until you've given it a try. No, not  couple of weeks, half a fucking lifetime. Then come back to me.

I had the same start as you did. Trust me.

Monday, 12 September 2016

Wednesday, 3 August 2016

Job Agents. Again.

I don't know if I ever mentioned that if this breed of carbuncles on the backside of humanity, or recruitment consultants as they like to call themselves, are an unwelcome intrusion upon my state of being or not?

I am an engineer, of electronics, and software and firmware on microprocessors and PCs and huge computers when necessary. I have been doing this for many years and am quite good at it.

Years ago, when I wanted to do some "work" for some chaps and they wanted to give me some "money", they advertised, usually in newspapers or even maybe in a magazine, or more lately on the internet, and I would look to see if I wanted their money and I could do the job, and we would talk to each other and arrange a trade.

This worked quite well. If they wanted me to do a "job" I would arrange with them either so much per hour or so much for a job. I would do the job and they would pay me. This was good. They have always been happy with me.

What happens now is there are about two main web sites upon which the poor workers, e.g. me, put their CVs. These are then reduced from a finely-crafted document into a selection of key words. The "job agents" (for that is all they are, ill-educated scum who feed off the efforts of such as I) then contact companies, and convince them that they will add value to their seeking-of-workers requirements, and they will find what they want, convert it into some more key words, and match them against these two databases. They will then email, automatically, the workers who they believe match, and wait.

For this, they will charge the work, in perpetuity, around 1/6th to 1/5th of his earnings. Effectively the person who wants the work done pays this on top.

The problem with this is that these "job agents", or "scum", are stupid, have no idea what the company or worker wants, or can do, and refuse to understand this. This means that someone, such as I, who is good at this, never gets near the company who wants me, but instead he is presented with a raft of fucking dickwads who couldn't find their arses with both hands and a map.

Here is a simple example. It is an email from a "job agent":

Hi Pengy,

A key client of mine is looking for an experienced Firmware Engineer to join them onsite in Guildford on an initial 6 month contract.

The key skills they are looking for include:
  • Microchip PIC 18bit
  • Bare Metal
  • Good knowledge of Microprocessor hardware (sketch IO block and Timer Works)

Please send an updated CV for more information on location and rates.

Let me explain:

Microchip do not make an 18bit PIC. They make an 18 series PIC which is 8 bit.
MPLAB is obsolete.
Bare Metal is a term only used by fuckwits to mean no operating system.
"sketch IO block" and "Timer Works" are not even known to Google in this context.

An 18 series PIC would be filled with code in one day by me. I have met "engineers" who would take months or years and it still wouldn't work.

I so dearly wish I could find out who wants someone to do this work so I can save them 5½ months and in the process make at least another of these fucking useless cunts redundant and hopefully reliant on a food bank for his next breakfast.

That's how much I hate them.I wish I could find the words to describe how much I hate this, but sadly, they have not been invented.

I hope you understand.

Pengs x