Mostly Bollogs, I'm afraid

But occasionally, a glimmer of truth.
If you find one, please let me know.

Thursday, 29 September 2011


Force is an influence that will cause an object to change in some way. It is something you apply to an object.

It may change its properties, such as velocity (speed/direction) or, if it is immoveable, its shape.

An object at rest, that is having no forces applied to it, will remain in its natural state. If you wish to change its properties, then you apply forces.

Force requires energy. You cannot just have a force acting on an object to move it from its natural state without applying energy.

If the energy runs out, the object will return to its natural resting state.

If you apply too much force, the object will break.

These are some of the problems facing engineers.

The Euro is an object.


I just wanted to say this.

When I was in Alsace last year I went to the war museum. Alsace was taken over by Germany during WWII, being on the border, and cards were put through every door saying (in French) "You are Germans now. Your cry will be Heil Hitler."

The cards had a smiley face on them.

I think the French in Alsace, almost to a man, were thinking (in French) "You can shove that RIGHT up your arse, Adolf."

Yesterday, Jose Manuel Barosso, President of the EU, said "There is nothing wrong with the EU. People just won't do what they're told."

I say, Jose, "You bet your sweet bippy, matey."

I am not alone.

Tuesday, 27 September 2011


A lady, I do not know her name, is to be subjected to ten lashes.

This is what 10 lashes looks like.

Regardless of what you may think, there are laws which need to be changed. One is to do with tweeting about airports. There are many more.

A lady, whose name I do know, Ashtiani, was "got off" by the power of Twitter.

I can be offensive. I will continue to be so.


PC is what ensures that one does not say anything which might make a difference.

God, what is UP with you people?

King Abdullah, of Saudi Arabia, will not commute (or whatever the fucking word is) the "sentence" of the lady who DROVE a CAR. She will be lashed. And not in a good way.

WHY THE ACTUAL FUCK will you not say what you think? I have been slagged off for being racist, religionist. For FUCK'S SAKE.

When did this thing come in where you have to kowtow, to draw the FUCKING LINE, so that nothing you say matters any more?

Jesus, girls.

King Abdullah is holding the entire state to ransom in the name of religion. Argue. He is subjecting a woman who DARED to do something about this shit to TEN LASHES.

If I say raghead, Allah, cunt, Fucktard, 18th Century I get slagged off.

Look. These people live in the dark ages.

What the actual fuck is going on here?

If someone wants to put me right, do.

If not, I'm saying raghead, coon, wog, nutjob, anything you fucking like.

Get in,.


Thursday, 22 September 2011


A week in the life of Troy Davis.


Not hungry. Been cooped up in here for twenty years. They're tried to kill me three times already. I didn't do it.


Still not hungry. Still didn't do it.


Not hungry. Getting a bit worried now. Can't see any news, nobody seems to care.


Jesus. I think it's going ahead. NO! Hold on. They haven't done it. Thank God.





On Wednesday 21st September 2011, the part of our planet known as the United States of America executed a man called Troy Davis.

I'm not going to go into the legal stuff, the bits and pieces. All I know is that most of the civilised world think that it's dreadful. The evidence was irrefutably WRONG, and the powers-that-be, the "gods" in whose hands are people's lives, KNEW this.

I know we have cancer. We have accidents. And now we have God-playing state-interferers as well. Wonderful.

It is, to me, the end of modern civilisation.

I shall now do EXACTLY what I like.

First, though, I shall weep. For my family, for humanity, and for the future.


Wednesday, 21 September 2011


Troy Davis is going to be killed, yes killed, at midnight UK time tonight by the delivery of a lethal injection.

I'm not a lawyer. Anyone who knows me will be well aware of what I think about our legal system, let alone that of America.

He allegedly killed a cop. One of America's finest. A cop, in the Met Police Force, had pictures of my kids, because he was a paedophile. He got fuck all in the way of sentence and was out in the square root of that. He has a protected identity and a secret address. So you won't find him. His name is David Geering (I am not allowed to say this) and he had a Rover car with a personal plate. Which I know. If I were him, I'd be shitting myself. He was as guilty as sin.

Anyway, nuff said. Cops are not all good, or bad. I was one. They are people. You shouldn't kill them.

I know nothing, NOTHING, about Troy Davis. He's black. He's probably disadvantaged, who fucking knows? Who cares?

If he killed the cop, then I'm not sure I agree or disagree with the death sentence.

What I DO know is this: the evidence isn't strong enough to hang your hat on. And if there's ONE shred of "not sure" running through this, then there is NO WAY he should be killed. Terminated. Executed.


And, if there is a God, I pray to that God that he speaks to Judge Penny Freesemann, the only person in the world who can save Troy (and how the fuck did THAT happen?), and helps her to do the right thing.


The Libertarians have chipped in with "we STOP the state killing people"

The British Freedom Nazis have chipped in with "what about the WHITE people who were MURDERED by BLACK people".


Friday, 16 September 2011


People are dying of starvation in Africa. It's not nice listening to the helpless screams of your undernourished child before it dies, horribly.

People are being oppressed by their own governments, all over the world.

People even in England are homeless, destitute and helpless.

I understand that the large Hardon Colander cost 4.4 BILLION quid.

It might detect the Higgs-Boson particle. But it won't. You know it won't. Apparently it either doesn't exist, or it's hiding.

Who actually gives a fuck? If it does, there's a God. Big fucking deal.

Somebody rationalise this for me, please?

Wednesday, 14 September 2011


As you will know if you're a regular reader of this shit, I'm a rampant evil racist bastard with far right leanings who thinks that it's fine to earn loads of money and choose how to spend it, rather than hand it over to the government so they can decide, badly, who they're going to spunk it on.

I also think that chaps who wear frocks in hot countries are not to be trusted, and that trying to shove together a bunch of disparate countries with no common currency, language or even culture is a pretty stupid idea.

I like to travel a lot, when I can. I go to all sorts of strange places. I am old, and was brought up in a "Christian" country, and I wear trousers. And speak English.

I drink beer and smoke fags. And I eat pork.

If I go to an "Islamic" country, I don't drink beer (except in Turkey where they will serve it to you in a twenty metre radius of a mosque in a Coke cup as long as you pay cash and don't tell anyone). And I don't eat pork. You can't, unless you bring in your own pig. And the airlines have trouble with that.

If I go to a "Buddhist" or "Hindu" country, I don't drink beer except what I can get in bottles in the hotels, and I don't eat any sort of meat because I don't trust it. In fact, I have no idea what I'm getting because it written in squiggles, and you eat it with your fists (pretty much like up north).

I don't want to live in those countries. They don't fit what I want.

I don't mind if frock-wearing chaps with towel hats want to live in England. Not at all. As long as they want to speak English and live like English people live. We have laws, made by asshats mainly, which we sort of abide by. They need to abide by them, or live somewhere else. That's completely fair, it's a choice they make.

And there is really no doubt that we're going to hell in a handcart. It's because people put people on pedestals and think they must have been right, people like Keynes The Economist, who was clearly talking out of his ringpiece, but unfortunately his "theories", or as I like to call them, "horseshit" are still taught in universities around the world under the guise of "fact". That and the fact that half the country think the "left" is evil, half think the "right" is evil, and most are watching Big Fat Gypsy Wedding anyway.

Germany had a similar problem in the early 30s. I hear that inflation was running so high that people had to take their wages home in wheelbarrows, but then realised the wheelbarrow was worth more. So they voted for a government run by an Austrian bloke by the name of Hitler (he was really called Schicklgruber but that means "cuntface" in German so he changed it).

He was bonkers. But he had an eye for a nice uniform and a peculiar gait which was to be called the goosestep. Crap haircut and tache. But he was a great orator and he found a common enemy in the Jews. The Jews are a hard-working, although tight, lot, and they were pretty successful, especially when it came to moneylending and stuff. So he set the people against them, invaded Poland, became infamous, and probably spent the rest of his life in Peru or somewhere. Who knows?

Anyway, shut up Pengy.

There was a mob of what we in the 70s called the "skinheads", so called because they shaved their heads. They wore bovver boots and short trousers. They dies out eventually because they were cunts. But they used to do Paki Bashing, where you blamed pakistanis for everything. Pakistanis are a hard-working lot ... see above.

Today, there are the new skinheads. They are called the EDL. If you put all of them together in one place and added up their collective IQs, then converted it to its weight in kilos of dynamite, it wouldn't be enough to blow one of their hats off. They claim that the ragheads (an affectionate term for chaps who wear frocks and have those towelling hats) are the cause of all evil. Which they are not.

Sadly, people with those hats and often with hooks for hands and eyes missing due to an accident with explosives were responsible for blowing up some towers, the odd bus, etc. So it's easy for the idiots to target ALL of them. Muslims. Islam. I have many friends who are of Islam, i.e. are Muslims. They're a peaceable lot. Much more than "we" are. Bit bonkers IMHO, with all this religion malarkey, but then again, who isn't?

Anyway, the EDL are all over Twitter, like a shitty shirt. They use the hashtag #EDL. I'm going to troll the crap out of it today, just for fun. Feel free to join in.

Tuesday, 13 September 2011


Coo. Lee Jasper, black nationalist and socialist, has protected himself. So only he and his mates know what racist bile he's spouting today.

Lee is the chair of the London Race and Criminal Justice Consortium. As far as I can tell, that has no status more that of the Norks and Bacon Party. A bit of a laugh. Same goes for Co-chair of BARAC, Black Activists Against the Cuts. I'm the Chair of White Anarchists Not Knowing Shit.

Lee can be found on Twitter as @LeeJasper.

This is an open letter to Mr Jasper. I hope he reads it.

Dear Lee

I'm Pengy. I'm a member of the human race. I'd salute you if we had a salute, but we don't. I see you and your friends, all black, funnily enough, are on your avatar on Twitter doing the black power salute thing. Nice one.

I'm guessing your aim, apart from inciting racial hatred, is to get more black MPs into Parliament? Brilliant. Good luck with that. I'd like to get a few less lying, conniving, troughing ones in, myself. And women. Women are more straightforward than men, most weeks of the month.

Problem I have is that you, as part of the negroid "race", hate me, as part of the "Europid" race (or IC1 as I like to call it). And no, I'm not indigenously English, I was French in 1066, apparently.

Anyway, I put it to you that you're just a bloody nuisance. I'm also guessing that you get poor misguided sods to pay for you in the pursuit of your "goals". Like Bob Crow does, but you're probably not as bright as him. Easy to do, I know. Apparently people are still members of the Labour Party, headed by a brother-fucking dullwit the likes of which British Politics, indeed Britain, hasn't seen in many a good year. Same goes for the LibDems, whose leader has sold them down the river. Also the Tories, who have done nothing but lie their teeth out since they've got "THE POWER".

Anyway, young Lee. I don't like your attitude. You probably don't like mine much. I hate violence, which is a bit of a sod as I'm quite good at it.

I don't like your single-issue stance. Black, innit. I'm white, by the way, I might have said that earlier.

I'm white.

Fucking annoying, isn't it?

Now, why don't you think about working together with people, instead of trying to create an artificial divide between us, and with the Mongoloids? We're humans, Lee. All of us. I'm not more a whitey than you're a blacky, or whatever you call yourself.

I'll be in that London on Thursday. I'd be happy to shake your hand and buy you a beer. Let me know. Comments aren't moderated.

Thanks, pal.

Pengy xxx

Monday, 12 September 2011


Gemma Hayter was murdered by thugs. Some might say she was murdered by disadvantaged young people.

No, she wasn't. She was murdered by COMPLETE CUNTS. Having been tortured.

Her mother said that she didn't hate the killers and that she pitied them. I hate them. I don't pity them. Whoever the fuck thinks I should because it's not their fault is bloody well complicit.

I pity people who have a problem, with society, because they've got a disability, because they're disavantaged, because they can't cope.

I don't pity people who make someone such as Gemma, a lass with learning difficulties, drink their piss. That's premeditated. I don't give a bollocks whether it's to big themselves up. It doesn't matter. She was locked in a bog. She was beaten. She was cleaned up and dragged along. Like a fucking dog. She was cut, had a plastic bag put on her. Murdered. Stripped.

The judge, the smug, self-satisfied fucktard, said that one of them was a nasty piece of work.

I can do better. And I'm not even a judge.

ALL of the perps are subhuman, a fucking disgrace, not fit to live on any sort of planet with the rest of us. They are cunts. They are truly filth.

I'm sure someone will say they have psychological problems. All fucking FIVE of them. I don't care any more.

If this is society, if this what we are robbed for on a daily basis, this is what I would call a serious fucking malfunction. Human life is NOT sacred. Not when it's like this. Really. If this was a mixy rabbit you'd shoot its brains out.

You, dear reader, have no idea what I feel right now. NO IDEA.

If this is the society we have become, where this even gets a look-in for a spell of free telly and three square meals a day, I resign.

Now, let's have a look at the parents.

Friday, 9 September 2011


I read Cam Moron's speech on education this morning. Quite good actually.

He raises some interesting questions, then misses the point entirely.

Questions like "If Estonia can (blah blah, blah) then why can't we?"

Good question. Easy answer. His answer is to put a couple more teachers in, check spelling, punctuation and grammar, get someone else to write the speech for you then deliver it in a "we will fight them on the beaches" stylee and all will be well.

Unfortunately most children won't have read this speech, nor heard it. It wasn't screened between America's Next Top Model and The X Factor, so mine definitely won't have. And it isn't on Facebook either so far as I know. So they won't give a fuck.

I know Cam Moron doesn't give a bollocks either, because the only thing he gives a flying fuck about is whether he gets elected again, unless he's finished his book by then.

Oddly, though, if the kids do manage to get through skool with half the lessons being taken up by citizenship and obedience, they're then faced with a nine-grand a year bill for whatever they fancy doing at uni. I hope some become doctors and vets. Unfortunately these days you need a degree to be a nurse (unless you don't speak English). I imagine there's a degree course in car salesmanship.

In Estonia, they charge you a fee depending on the course you do. That's a good idea, isn't it?

Of course it is. Ask Cam Moron whether he knows this? I presume not, otherwise he wouldn't have asked such a stupid question, really, eh?

BTW. I know this about Estonia because I googled it.Cam Moron probably doesn't have Google.

Thursday, 8 September 2011


THIS is the last straw.

Our esteemed government, aka the bunch of knobheads who are supposed to be running our country, OUR country, not THEIR country, have really done it this time.

Number Ten have released a game. A fucking GAME.

I QUOTE from their Twitter timeline: @Number10Gov, the official Twitter channel for the Prime Minister's Office based at 10 Downing Street, London:

"Could you run the country? Put yourself in the hot-seat with a new online learning tool MyUK from @UKParliament"

My initial reaction was that the Downing Street cat had inadvertently composed that tweet, by accidentally stepping on the keys in the right order. That would have made sense to me. I would have been happy with that.

But no. is real. Argh. Registered to Peter Stidwill, Parliaments (sic) Education Service. Paid for by you.

And here is what it says. I'm not joking. Really.

TITLE: Create a country to call your very own. Any alarm bells ringing yet?

TAGLINE:  It's your country, your rules. Shitting your pants yet? I am.

OBJECTIVE: Choose and pass new laws, ... pursue your personal vision of the UK. Gone into cardiac arrest? No?

Then, dear, though obviously moronic reader, let me explain in a Blackadder style. *takes two fingers, pokes them in your hitherto blind eyes*

I am not a psychologist or anything. I'm just an old cunt. One who pretends not to understand very much, for I find that this makes it easier to ask people questions. But try to fathom what kind of mentality even THINKS that this sodding game is a good idea.

THEN, for FUCK'S actual sake, LOOK.

To call your very own. You absolute cunts. Words fail me. It is not YOUR OWN. It is OURS. It will never be yours. You are elected to do a fucking job of work. You gained your votes by standing by a manifesto, or, as I put it, a sack of fucking lies, NONE of which, to my knowledge, you have acted upon. Nor do you intend to.

It's your country, your rules.  No, it fucking isn't. The RULES were set in place by King John a LONG FUCKING TIME AGO, in the Magna Carta,which you all but ignore. You treasonable chamber pot of vomit.

Choose and pass new laws.  Fuck RIGHT off. You promised a bonfire of crap legislation. You have delivered exactly JACK SHIT. You have lied, cheated, wheedled and cajoled your way through the first disastrous year of a SHAM of a parliament. You have done NOTHING for ANYTHING apart from protect your own cushy jobs.

Pursue your own personal vision of the UK. Fuck RIGHT off. Then come back here and FUCK OFF again. Repeat until I'm happy that your filthy, perverted, power-driven dream of MEGALOMANIA has transformed into something like your FUCKING JOB DESCRIPTION.

You absolute bunch of greedy, deluded, spongers on the backside of the decent, honest, hard-working people of this godforsaken country.


Because there's no other way on God's earth that this shifty bunch of thieving amoral scumbags are going to leave the trough.

I feel a bit better now.

Wednesday, 7 September 2011


That's something you shouldn't talk about in a pub. That and sex and politics.

Here we go then. I'm getting a bit pissed off with people who seem to think that their view is somehow right, per se. I have a view on a lot of things, most of which I know nothing about. And I'm entitled to it. And you're entitled to call me a cunt. Carry on.

I was brought up to believe in God and Jesus and Mary and Joseph and that the only language God understands was King James English, and I think that was their biggest mistake. See, when you realise that Jesus was probably a lot darker than me and almost certainly had a big conk (I said CONK), then probably God can speak Hebrew, or Yiddish, or Latin or something. Also, there is a distinct possibility that Adam actually didn't just pop out of nowhere, and Eve probably didn't nick one of his ribs.

Having said that, I do believe, because of the force of logic and maths and stuff, that there is some sort of divine entity somewhere who probably lurks in one of the dimensions to which we ordinary mortals aren't privy, and could even be inside a dimension outside of which we find ourselves. I don't know. I'm not going to argue either.

I do think that stories about mangers and asses and donkeys and geese and wise men and kings are nice for kids. I don't give a bollocks what you think.

I also think that organised religion, the forerunner of government when it comes to brainwashing and control, is responsible for very many deaths, torture, violence and suchlike. Which is a bit shit.

I'll tell you what, though. I'm sure Nadine Dorries is genuine in her beliefs. I'm sure she really does think that aborting a foetus is murderous. She's entitled to think that. She's also entitled to your opinion, in that it's your body. Your decision to have an abortion. I've been instrumental in one. A long time ago. I'm a murderer.

What I don't believe is right is the witch-hunt attitude. Whether Nadine is a nutjob or not. OK, if the whole government is God-botheringly Christian, that scares me. But they're not. And this vote is not going to be swayed by a couple of people. Right or wrong.

Think what you like. That's what people do. But don't proselytise. It's out of order. I know many Christians, quite a few Muslims, a Buddhist, at least two Wiccans, loads of agnostics and a handful of atheists. And a Jedi. No, really. None of them are radical. None of them proselytise either. Mostly nice people (apart from the Jedi, which is me).

So, just a suggestion, why not shut the fuck up? There are important things to sort out.

I don't know WHY I mentioned geese, before you ask.

Tuesday, 6 September 2011


This is why I don't riot and loot.

I shall start by saying why I think I probably should, and why I understand people who do.

I'm a grumpy old git. This is because I was brought up when everything was evil, communists, homosexuals, drugs, everything. We were taught that. And DON'T fucking tell me we weren't, because you probably weren't there, and you have been fed a load of mishistory.

I don't think communists were ever evil, except to capitalists. I don't agree with either. I don't agree with any ist.

I probably used to be a homophobe. And a racist. And a protectionist. But I'm just a grumpy old git, and a lot of people I would call friends are poofs, black, brown, yellow, pink and even FOREIGN.

Some things have changed for the better. Some. In the process of these things changing we seem to have lost freedom of speech and freedom of choice. That annoys the hell out of me.

I often think how nice it would be if everyone woke up and realised that the people who are running the global show are only in it for themselves. But I know that won't happen, not as long as half the people in this country rely on the show for their living. Ah well. When you get to my advanced age you realise that you haven't got long before you go on the one-way trip to Switzerland (unless they make THAT illegal too). I'm looking forward to it. In the meantime I try to make as many people happy as I can, and I try to be a right fucking nuisance to those who deserve it.

I do lots of stuff. I don't have a telly, but I have loads of other things I enjoy doing, so I only ever get bored at work when I run out of Evil Plans to construct and execute.

So I half ignore the cunts, as there's so little I can do, apart from being a nuisance.

I don't riot, yet. Mainly because I have a job and kids and stuff. Also, I think the current set of turds-in-charge might put right some of the damage created by the last lot, so rioting and looting would be a bit silly, as it would probably get the other lot in again.

However, this feral underclass. I don't think they're an underclass. They're feral. Don't think they're not. Once part of society, they are now in a position where any prospect of a job has gone. They'e undereducated. They probably come from a long line of the undereducated, through no fault of their own. If you brave the streets of Wellingborough today (it's market day) you will see the next generation of the poor sods in their pushchairs outside Costa Coffee with their unemployed mums and often dads, smoking Polish cigarettes. Were these my kids I might try to engage them and teach them something and perhaps spend some of the dole money on food for them, but it doesn't go like that.

These people can't do many of the things I do to entertain myself, because they haven't been taught to. In my experience they spend a lot of time fishing, God knows how they afford the stuff, God knows they'd be better off educating themselves, but NO, it doesn't happen. It's a fact. Argue if you like, from your comfy semi somewhere.

What the fuck are they SUPPOSED to do? No job. No prospects. I know, brilliant plan! Let's say "We're all in this together" and show them by driving around in chauffeur-driven jags, claiming huge expenses, pissing money up the wall like there's no tomorrow, tell them the Olympics is on (but they can't have a ticket) and everything is wonderful. Excellent. And if that doesn't piss them right off, tell them where they can and can't smoke, what they can and can't say, tell them just in case they weren't fucked already that Uni is going to cost them ten years wages and won't give them a job anyway.

Yep. That'll work.

Now fuck off,Clarke, you huge throbbing bellend.