Mostly Bollogs, I'm afraid

But occasionally, a glimmer of truth.
If you find one, please let me know.

Tuesday, 13 July 2010


So, the dead donkey raffle's on again, is it?

RaceOnline2012, aka some bird who cobbled up a website for cheap late holidays, now the god of the internet and all things digital, advising H M Government (don't get me started) on why it is a basic human right to have the internets?

Have I got it about right?

Oh, good.

In "my" office, the airconditioned shed I cling on to while I offer some sort of service to this sack of shit that struggles to maintain health and safety as a religion whilst decimating the share price on a daily basis, I have access to broadband. This mainly because I conned them years ago into having it, unpoliced, so the people in the ivory towers can see what's going on. I can therefore throw porn into the ether at a guaranteed 8 million bits a second, yay!

In my "home", the non-airconditioned shed in which I eat and sleep, I don't have broadband. I don't have a telephone. I can't have a telephone. I have an iPhone, which slowly gleans information from the ether and pops it up onto my screen, so I can wang away with my thumbs and give my opinion on things that I think matter. That's why I like Twitter, when it works. I also have a huge laptop thing which I use as a DVD player, so I don't need a TV licence, and so I can't watch the H M Government Propaganda Channel even if I want to. And, trust me, I don't. I have bought a dongle which I attach to this laptop via a long cable, and put onto the roof of the shed inside an upturned saucepan, which will get me something like 48 thousand bits per second on a good and clear night. That's means I can also be a Twit there, using all of my fingers.

Sometimes I can access blogs. I can access mine, because I haven't filled it full of pictures and videos. I can't access some that I would sometimes like to access, although with the dongle there's a cunning thing that skips most of the pictures, so that's nice. I can't watch youtube videos, so please stop posting links to them unless they're obviously links to videos, eh?

I had my iPhone bought for me, by a customer, to do a job on. I paid for my dongle. I can have access by the day, week, month. My choice.

The government CAN'T give me broadband, even if I want it, which I don't. And I don't want to pay for anyone else's, thanks.

There are three reasons why anyone would need broadband. There is NO need for it for email.

These three reasons are:

  • to surf porn
  • to research things for work or school
  • to bring down a government
Obviously, the first one is very important. The second is even more so, but then there's access at work or school already. 

And, thanks to Twitter, I can make my small contribution to the third, possible the most important, at 48kbps quite nicely, thanks.

Bye, Ms Martha Lane Fox. Get a proper job..

1 comment:

Ben Tee said...

With the expected demise of the TV Tax in the near future (arguably due to it being very difficult to police) the Govt will need to obtain revenue from somewhere. Step forward...the iTax.

Why else would they be so keen to have everyone connected to broadband and thus have hired a spokestotty to doll it up for the public.