Hippies

Seems like there's a lot of pisstaking going on of the Peacecamp-stylee #climatecamp

I quite liked the idea of peace camps. They were a demonstration against war.

War is gay. War sucks donkey balls. War has no place in civilised society.

Peace camps were cool, once. The general idea of them was to sit around with like-minded hippies, playing Bob Dylan songs, badly (as that's the way Dylan always played them), on guitars, in the key of G (because that's an easy one), and go "1, 2, 3 what are we fighting for?" and get your tits out (if you're a hippie chick and not a hippy guy).

That's fact. I've been to more than one. Great fun. Sadly, the same people who tend to go to these things are also the people who tend to want to save the cow, so you have to eat falafel (which is shite) in pitta bread (which is shite) and you are perpetually hungry and so desperate for meat you'd eat a McDonald's burger.

Anyway, I doubt whether they ever did any good. Iraq happened. Afghanistan happened, to name but two.

But if you're of that persuasion and you really think it'll do any good, then good luck to you. I have long since given up on public opinion having ANY effect at all on what governments decide to do or not do.

But if there is any possibility, however remote, that any of this action really can make a difference, however small, may I suggest something?

Carbon emissions, greenhouse gases, climate change. The evidence for any of these being interlinked in any way at all is scant at best. Any schoolboy can work out that burning millions of tons of coal isn't a great idea, for it pollutes the atmosphere with black muck. Look at any Victorian building in London that hasn't been cleaned for a while for a demonstration. Any schoolboy can work out that driving around cities in huge cars, vans and lorries isn't a great idea, for it pollutes the atmosphere with grey muck. Look at any building in London that hasn't been cleaned for a while for a demonstration.

So have a go at China. Any of the up-and-coming countries whose turn it is to rape the planet in the same way as the Noble Briton has done for the last few hundred years.

Nobody else is worth having a pop at. Nobody else is close. And China, sad to say, isn't listening.

But, rather than giving up, think about this. There may or may not be climate change. If there is, it may or may not be a natural cyclic effect. If it isn't, it may or may not be caused by emissions from cars, vans, trucks, factories. It may even be primarily caused by having too many CO2-emitting lifeforms (that's people) living in too small a space.

If you want to save the planet, folks, you need to cause a major attitude shift. In people. It's been tried before.

Here are some of the organisation who have tried it before. You may have heard of some of them. Many have been discredited as being monster raving loonies, or a festering barrel of bad stuff. Most of them did it for real, right reasons. Some indubitably did not.

• The Church of England
• The Roman Catholic Church
• Christian Aid
• Band Aid
• The Labour Party
• The Green Party
• Amnesty International
• Greenpeace

Heard of them? Why do you think you can make any difference at all?

Now, start again. Sod your falafel. Sod your pitta. Sod your paper plates, plastic knives and forks, your fifteen cubic metres of litter.

Address the real problem. Those who speak on your behalf (right), those who promised some sort of change (right), those who are supposed to be running the show. Those who perpetrate war. Those whose insidious mechanism infiltrates everything and harbours criminals, such as policemen who beat up and kill newspaper vendors (where did that story go?)

And, above all, take the time to tell me why I'm wrong. Comments below ...