Cast

This Huhne.

Apparently he's had his ex-missus pick up some points because he'd got previous and this one would've put him over the ten points, thus barring him from driving for a bit. I have no idea why that's a problem, because I thought the troughers all got company chauffeurs and a go at the maid every Friday anyway. Perhaps I'm wrong. Perhaps only senior troughers get all that.

However. I have no idea why there's all the furore. I have done the same. Obviously, I didn't do it on purpose, but my ex-idiot had three speeding endorsements, the twat, and managed to get another one. Or did she? I couldn't remember whether it was me who was driving that day, actually, and nor could she. So I went to court to tell the magistrate this. Three times. The first two appearances got chucked out but the Plod, bless their little cotton socks, wouldn't let it go. On their third attempt to nail someone with the heinous offence of driving through a speed camera at 46 mph in a 40 limit with not a house or driveway in sight, I told the magistrate, absolutely truthfully, obviously, SNORK, that I thought it was me who was driving her car. But I wasn't sure. So Mr Magistrate did the right thing, told the Plod they were wasting everybody's time, slung it out, and I fucked off, on my motorbike, to work.

On the way back, I overtook a whole heap of traffic, because you don't ride a 180mph superbike in order to stay at the back of the queue. Unfortunately, Plod, who were definitely not waiting specifically to nail me because I'd just slapped them one in the eye, then overtook the same heap of traffic, in a car, which was downright fucking dangerous and stupid. And as I wasn't trying to get away, having no idea that they were that vindictive and petty, they caught up with me, putting at risk every other motorist in the mile long hot-pursuit inna Boss Hogg stylee,

They explained (told me) that I had crossed a solid white line. I said "bollocks" because either I hadn't, or I didn't give a shit whether I had or not, or I was a bit pissed off as there is no way they'd have caught up with me had I not wanted them to. So they issued me with a ticket. I went down the nick, and explained to the most senior fuckwit there (who was an inspector and about 6 years old, but he must have had a degree or something so he was very important indeed) that it was a set-up. But, unfortunately, I didn't read the small print on the "producer" and therefore admitted the offence by default. So I told him he was a cunt, which didn't help.

I got done. Got three points.

Ex-missus kept her licence. I told her if she got caught speeding again she was on her own. She hasn't been caught since.

I used to be a cop. Many years ago, when Plod did a proper job. Before paperwork and targets and shit. When they used to catch crims. I had respect then. Not any more.

But, this Huhne. I have no idea who he is, what he does, or anything. But I don't give a fuck either. What I do give a fuck about is that "an extraordinary tape was released". By whom? Who cares? And why is it even admissible?

Fuck this country.

And, furthermore, if you're one of the witch hunters who've been clamouring for blood on this one, then FUCK YOU TOO.

Love

Pengy.x