Prescott

An open letter to Lord Prescott.

Dear John

I liked you. Before the election, we had some banter. When you lost the election, you blocked me. You were smarting from the defeat suffered at the hands of whom we now know to be worse, possibly than your lot, which really is saying something.

You know I don't like politicos. I see them as a carbuncle on the backside of humanity. But you were a bit of fun. Along with Skinner, The Beast, and a few others.

But you remember me well enough to know I can't abide hypocrisy. You said this:

"Well done to everyone who campaigned against #pastytax. Showed how out of touch the Tories are. Now let's slap that VAT on caviar!"

Come on, John. You're not thick. Your tribal lefty followers are, but I'm not partisan.I can't stand the public-school tossers either (although your leader Mr Blair, you know, the one backing you as police chief?) was. Is.

John. Vermin in Ermine, you said once. THAT was funny. Like the Beatles giving back their OBEs but accepting one quietly round the back?

PLEASE. Give the real people a bit of credit. I KNOW all you have to say is Camoron, start a daft hashtag game, and all the pond life on the planet will go with you. Such is fame, fortune (at my expense) and tribalism.

I liked the punch. I supported that. Would have done the same if someone had egged me. I have the picture, I also have the one of Pauline with the bog on her head, it's hanging in my loo. Brilliant.

Please be yourself again. Tony's a tosser, I think you secretly know that. You've got enough money. Make a name for yourself by being a proper, ordinary bloke who hasn't forgotten his roots.

Sincerely

Pengy