I've been accused of being batshit crazy.
I can't argue with that, obviously. Beer or no beer, I talk a lot of shit a lot of the time. Usually I do it to wind people up.
Here's a subject which can't be taken seriously: Women Bishops.
It's a no-brainer. The Church of England, founded by Henry the Eight so he could legally decapitate a few of his wives for only having daughters, is a proud institution. It's ratified by the Royal Family, descended mainly from people we've spent the last 1000 years at war with, and is based upon centuries upon centuries of music with no discernible consecutive fifths, blokes with frocks, lads with their nadgers cut off so as not to ruin their voices, war, guilt, and the alienation of women. To be honest, pretty much like golf or Freemasonry, apart from the nadger thing.
The main anti-women-bishop argument is that the twelve apostles were men.
Let me help with that. The twelve apostles were Jewish. Half of them were fictitious. Three of them could write and one of those was a doctor. One of them (Judas Iscariot) was a bit of a git and would have shagged his own mother for a fiver.
So no, there is no argument for all Bishops being men. If we have Bishops I suggest that they fit the criteria described heretofore, and that all of them are now dead.
HOWEVER. There is no argument for Bishops. The C of E (Henry's club) has more money than the whole of Africa. Jesus said a lot of stuff (mainly obvious things like there's no pockets in a shroud, camels and needle's eyes, mustard seeds, that kind of thing) and there's no doubt at all that if you follow the "teachings" of the bible you'll vote for Ed Miliband and everyone will get a free unicorn.
Jesus never said "let there be huge buildings and please can you go and murder a load of brown people".
There is a God. I think so. You don't have to agree, and if you don't, you're so more than welcome to ignore anything I say, I will think highly of you if you do. But this is just what I think. This.
We live upon a tiny planet on the Western Spiral Arm of this galaxy, the Milky Way (named after a choclit bar, so it must be good). We're in a tiny solar system (where we go round a hot thing we call the sun, look outside and you might see it), of which there are billions, in this galaxy. Billions, like 1,000,000,000 multiplied by quite a lot.
We are one of billions (see above) of those galaxies in the universe. And there may (or may not) be other universes.
Scientists (Stephen Hawkins, Prof Brian Cox, etc.) think (and not like "I'm pissed, I think this" but more "here's a shedload of data, it's bloody likely that this is so" kind of think) that the Big Bang occurred at the beginning of recognisable time and dumped these billions upon billions of things out of another thing about the size of a Bird's Eye garden pea, fresh as the moment that the pod went pop.
That's what I call a bang.
And whatever did that is pretty awesome, and if you want to call it God, then do. I do.
We understand shit. Richard Dawkins understands less shit than that. He couldn't find his own arse with a map, a headtorch and a GPS.
If you don't believe in "God", and I'm not talking about beardy sky fairies, then I reckon your're pretty much up yourself.
Christians, Islamists, and any petty clubmakers may disagree.
See this face?
Thanks for reading.