I went to the corner shop this morning.
A young girl was sitting behind the counter, with her feet on the table, txting.
YG "Excuse me."
YG "How do you spell Schizophrenic?"
UM [duly spells schizophrenic] "There's a word I don't use most days!"
YG "I live with it constantly."
UM [goes to find Red Bull, returns to counter]
YG "It's not too bad though, being schizophrenic."
UM "Well, at least you've always got a friend."
YG [missing point entirely] "I have lots of friends. Just that I've also got ADHD, Asperger's and I have learning difficulties."
UM [attempting to escape] "Oh."
YG "I'll never get a decent job. I got offered a job at £9 an hour working three days on and three days off and I'm qualified and everyfink but they don't want me because of my disabilities."
UM "Well, keep smiling."
How The Actual Fuck did we gets here? Which tossbag told this girl that she had all of these things?
Because I've seen her once, for about a minute, and I can assure you that she not only doesn't have at least most of them, but that she wears them proudly, like bloody sporting trophies.
I think I may revisit tomorrow and slap her arse most mightily. And find out who told her all this and do the same to them.