Hello, Metropolitan Police.
I understand you're looking for information about anarchists? According to the Guardian, you are.
Here I am. I'm an anarchist. An anarchist is someone who espouses the philosophy that the state is useless, undesirable and harmful. Yup, that's me.
I'm afraid I don't yet go round setting fire to great public buildings, although there are a few shoved up in the 60's that desperately need it. But I can tell you that the state, as it is today, is all of the above. It's actually one big mindjob that is self-perpetuating, a huge waste of time and money and resource.
My kids told me the other day that anarchists are evil. They learned this at school. It's OK, I've put them right. They're anarchists too, now. I call them Spartacus and Spartacus. If possible, perhaps you'd put them in the same chokey as me, if that's possible, as I'd like to see that they are not brainwashed any more than they have been already.
Anyway, if you want me, Google will give you the IP address. Or simply leave an email address or phone number in the comments, and I'll pop round. I'll be in London all day tomorrow, so if you let me know which Nick you like me to come to in order to hand myself in, that'll save time. I shall probably be shitfaced.
Alternatively, there was a cop, one of yours, the Met, who had paedo photos of my kids. He got 2½ years for it. He knows where I am. I don't have his address, as he was out in 9 months and was given another identity. By you, I assume. And is now anonymously sitting somewhere, probably at a PC, grooming his next victims.
Anyway. Bye for now.
Oh, by the way. I think I might be the only anarchist, actually. Perhaps if there are any others they could say so in the comments.
Jesus (aka Spartacus).