Got a bit bored writing a CV so here's a business plan. You may wish to use it.
1. Be a bit thick.
2. Join the Labour Party.
3. Eat pies.
4. Talk shit.
5. Get elected in somewhere a bit naff where they'll vote for a donkey with a red rosette.
6. Punch one of your constituents in the face.
7. Shag your PA.
8. Lose a General Election.
9. Become a Lord.
10. Get a load of followers on twitter and think that's somehow connected to reality.
Hope this plan helps you.