Frolly

Agile. Scrum.

Correct me if I'm fucking wrong here.

I have dumped a turdload of jobs because they want Agile and Scrum. Particularly banks.

It doesn't fucking exist, does it?

It's a methodology (which is the wrong fucking word anyway because they mean method, or way) whereby you split a fucking job up into smaller jobs, isn't it? That's ALL it fucking is. And a fucking poster for your fucking WALL. Isn't it?

It's the way anyone who isn't a complete cunt has ALWAYS fucking worked, given a name by a beardy cunt, isn't it?

Tell me I'm right.

Also bring me the head of said beardy cunt because I want to do untold beardy cunty things TO the said beardy cunt. I have my own tools.

Ta.

javascript

7. What possibly unintentional behaviour is exhibited in the following code and how would you correct it?

function buildItems() { var i, arr = []; for (i = 0; i < 20; i++) {
arr.push({ item: create(i), kill: function() {
remove(i); }
}); } return arr;
} buildItems()[10].kill();

Ye of little faith

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labour or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’

“For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Innit.

Boo

I promised you but now I can't think of anything for my boos
Don't know any country and I don't know any rhythm and blues
P'rhaps I'll just talk bollocks all night
I'm pretty sure y'all thought that I might
Six beers down my neck and here's another big pile of shit.

Boo

I promised you but now I can't think of anything for my boos
Don't know any country and I don't know any rhythm and blues
P'rhaps I'll just talk bollocks all night
I'm pretty sure y'all thought that I might
Six beers down my neck and here's another big pile of shit.

Offensive

I understand an MP has found it offensive that a beer, an ale, has found its way into the House of Commons Bar which goes by the name of "Top Totty".

The tap has a bunny girl on it. Big deal.

The same MP, elected by her constituents, has managed to, at great effort and presumably expenditure of time, remove said beer.

Offensive.

Yup. Here are a few things which I find offensive.

• The House of Commons has a bar.
• That bar is subsidised by people who do proper work.
• An MP has nothing better to do.
• That Gordon Brown sold off the gold reserves of this once-great country, in which the building-up he had no hand, for ten cents on the dollar.
• That the government bailed out a couple of banks.
• That my kids are now up shit creek without a paddle because of the hubris of a handful of the political class.
• That half of what i might earn is being taken from me at gunpoint to spunk up the wall in any way the political class deem fit.
• That I am now a European.

I can't be arsed. What I will say is that if the lady in question did not look as they she was catapult-fed from birth she might have chosen to embrace her sexuality, rather than to try to rebel against it.

Louise Mensch has my phone number, and she knows where I live. The MP in question has only to ask, I give Louise my full permission to divulge those details.

I hope she sues me. I hope, from deep within my black heart that she does so.

Please, if you read this folks, I have no idea what the woman's name is. Do pass this on.

Thanks.