I haven't met her in a bar down in old Soho, where they drink champagne and it tastes just like Cherry Cola.
L O L A Lola. @Lola_Peaches on Twitter.
And that, folks, is because she's not IN Soho. She's being help prisoner in a faraway land where there be dragons, and Orcs. I know this, because I've seen Lord of The Rings.
Probably most old beardy, be-sandalled folk would love to be there, miles from civilisation. Guess I would, and I haven't even GOT a beard. But I'd get fed up.
She's fed up too. She's a teen and wants some fun and actual proper people to mingle with.
So do a favour. If you have a spare couple of quid, do pop it into her pot and help her to come back to dear old Blighty. I might even do so myself, if and when I get a job of some sort.
Go on. You know you want to. Make a youngster happy. She's promised me that she'll definitely behave.
Right. Here's the thing you click.