Job. MkII.

I require a chap/chapess with a serious geek thing who is interested in electronics and computing, who can program passably in C, and knows Ohm's Law, and is going to be treated like shit and come out the other end a bloody genius. They need to realise that life is hard, so is work, and that they are fucking useless, but wish to better themselves.

I would really like someone who knows what they're doing who wears their underpants outside their trousers and can change in a telephone box, which is what we've asked agencies to send us.

The problem is that we can't find the people because the stupid bastards put their CVs on a web site to which only bastard job agents have access. Said job agents then make sure we get sent folk who fit any description other than the one we're looking for, because they think they understand. They do NOT.

Back in the day it was possible to find someone who did not think that the world owed them a living. Nowadays the yoof think that the world does, and the only reason people work is to pay their fucking benefits.

There is nothing wrong with learning stuff on the job, and having the benefit of some top-rate chaps who know what they're doing, from whom to learn, and in return be sent to the stores for a long weight or a new box of sparks for the grinder. And having the piss taken mercilessly. But at the end of it they'll be useful.

FUCK knows what they teach people at Uni these days. I suspect mostly its how to justify getting in 10 minutes late then making coffee and microwaving toast before discussing football or what pile of shite was on telly last night. Those folk need not apply.

But if someone wants to work and is willing to learn and isn't as thick as two planks, and his mates have a problem with him/her having the bollocks/tits to go for it instead of going to Uni to do a degree in washing teatowels, I'll come with them to the pub and put their mates right for them, with my trusty bat.

Any questions such as "how much holiday/money/statutory sick benefit do I get?" will be greeted with the bum's rush. We're not a charity. We want to know what you can do for us. At least I'm honest.

Find me someone.