Pilot

I'm a pilot. Not a commercial pilot though, so I don't know more than most people. But here is a thing.

I was very recently on an EasyJet flight. I'm not saying which one.

Mid-flight, the captain left the cockpit to use the loo.He then went back in

A while ago, another captain left the cockpit to use the loo. His co-pilot locked him out. Everybody died in terror and panic.

As I say, I am not an expert, but EITHER the pilot can get back into the cockpit, in which case so can anyone else, or the co-pilot has to let him in, in which case the same tragedy can happen again.

Care to comment, EasyJet?

I know the answer to this possible problem is to install a loo in the flight deck. I also know that airlines will do ANYTHING to get an extra seat in an aircraft because this means more money.

Really

Hi Pengy,

I hope all is well with yourself?

I have just received a fresh new job on my desk for a C++ Programmer/Developer in Leicester.

My client are looking for someone with at least 2 years commercial experience in Software Development and are looking to hire straight away.

ESSENTIAL SKILLS / EXPERIENCE:

·         Minimum of 2 years’ development experience in industry/commercial experience

·         Experience of developing User Interfaces (UI), Apps, etc.

·         Strong knowledge and understanding of C++ (MS Visual studio)

·         Computer Science, Software Engineering or similar degree

DESIRABLE OTHER SKILLS

·         Experience with DirectX and Direct3D (extremely desirable)

·         Android development experience

·         Developing in an Agile environment

·         Development experience with other languages e.g. Java, C#, PHP, HTML5, Delphi, SQL, CSS and JavaScript etc.

If you are at all interested in this position, please do reach out to me by replying to this email or please call me on 01217961888.

If this role isn’t right for you, do you know anyone who may fit it?

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Kind Regards,

Corned

Here is my corned beef hash recipe, which is the closest yet to what I remember from a pub in Surbiton many years ago.

Serves: whatever.

Ingredients (numbers in brackets are what I had)

• Spuds (3 white meduim)
• Onions (1 large)
• Green Peppers (1 largish)
• Corned Beef (1 tin, large)
• Baked Beans (1 tin, large)

Method:

• Hack up the spuds so they're about ½" cubes
• Boil them for not very long so they're still tough
• Don't take the skins off
• Heat the oven to Gas Mark 4 or look up what that is on the internet if you don't have gas
• Chop up the onions and peppers
• Open the corned beef. They've hidden the bit you put the key in under the paper and siliconed the key to the lid to stop people nicking it.
• Drink a cider
• Pour the beans into an oven dish thing
• Cut the corned beef into cubes like the spud was
• Drain the spud and leave it hanging around
• Find the cheddar in the fridge
• Cut all the mould off it (all 6 sides)
• Wash knife thoroughly
• Cook the onions and peppers in the same saucepan with a bit of veg oil
• Have a cider
• When you smell the onions they're ready
• Add the spuds
• Stir
• Add the corned beef
• Stir
• Have cider
• Tip that stuff onto the beans
• Grate cheese on
• Have cider
• Have cider
• Have cider
• Take out of oven
• Nom

Firework

A cautionary tale.

When I were a lad, we made fireworks ourselves.

We used sodium chlorate (weedkiller, tell the bloke in the shop it's for your dad's allotment) mixed with sugar and shoved it in cardboard tubes, put a bit of paper in the end and lit it.

My mate Chris and I were putting them in the old air-raid shelters at school for laughs and he got caught, and I didn't.

He got sent home for four weeks which was a bit unfair.

Anyway, Chris decided to go one better, what with all that free time. He put his in copper pipe. He was hammering the end over, holding the tube in a vice in the shed.

His neighbour saw that the shed roof had come off and went round to see what was going on. Seeing that it was a bit of a mess, he wrapped a teatowel round my mate's hand and called an ambulance.

I visited Chris in hospital. He was short of an eye and four fingers on one hand.

I don't make my own any more. I strongly suggest you don't either.

Love, Pengy.