Date

Sometimes I sort of quite enjoy being unique. I know everyone is, but I don't seem to "get" anything that's going on.

And I am not a good example of anything here, don't think I am. I am the proponent/victim/result of at least three failed marriages, and those are just the ones in which I've been a spouse.

But, this. I don't understand this. Dates.

When I were a lad we used to do stuff. We used to go to school, uni (not me cos I iz thick), pubs, clubs, whatevs.  It was OK.

School was a bit shit cos the headmaster used to drive a pink MG and call the boys "little gnome", and he was pretty much a useless sack of shit. He's probably dead now, but his name was E.P.Dewar. The cunt. It was a mixed school so there were gurls. Most of them were cleverer than me (as were most boys) so they went to uni and stuff.

I won't say about Uni cos I didn't go.

Pubs were OK. You could smoke in them and they had jukeboxes and bar billiards and darts. Sometimes we streaked in the car park as well, until my mate Tim slid down the bonnet of my A35 on to the "Flying A" and separated his bollocks on it. Oof.

Clubs were many and varied. We had bands and that kind of thing which was nice. Mainly amateur bands, like Lindisfarne, Deep Purple, Genesis, The Stranglers. Couldn't hear a bloody thing anyone said.

We used to go to Winkworth Arboretum and jump in the lake and do barbecues and have picnics. And play tennis down the local courts. The magistrates used to get a bit upset about it but we didn't give a fuck.

We were mates. There were gurls and there were boys. There was me and Tim and Alistair and Mark and Nick and Dave. There was Maxine and Donna and Lesley and Debbie and Sally. There were various others who drifted in and out, and in and out. We did daft stuff. We went to the seaside now and again, hired a coach, got slung out of the pub, came home again. We had laughs. Never hurt anyone.

We knew each other for years, us lot. Some of the boys fell in love with some of the girls. That was eons ago. They are still together. That's nice.

Now, what seems to happen, and honestly, it didn't used to, not where I was brung up, is that people "date". They meet people of their sex of choice, specifically to see if they are going to be partners, when they know sod all about them. Which I think is a recipe for a load of bollocks.

Why do they do this? Someone tell this poor old Pengy?