The EU explained for idiots.
If you know this already, fuck off.
If you don't, read it. If you don't see it as a problem, go back to your telly and fuck off.
If you think it's about time something was done, for fuck's sake tell me what.
The EU, European Union was meant to stop wars in Europe after that cunt Hitler kicked off last time.
OK so far? Right. Countries signed up to it. The UK did, having told the plebs (you) that it was all to do with cheap fish and cheese, so you did, you gullible twats. Still, that's done.
In 1992, the Maastricht Treaty (so-called because it was signed in Maastricht, a shithole in Belgium) was signed on our behalf by John Major, who didn't ask anyone else apart from MPs who mainly said "no". That gave the EU more power. Denmark said no, in a vote, so they had another vote, until they said "yes".
The EU like power. They like control. Find a picture of the cunt von Rompuy and tell me he isn't the Emperor off of Star Wars.
In 1995 the EU made a special money called the Euro. That meant they could control money too. Brilliant.
Anyway, they didn't have enough power. So they had another treaty (treaties are like a new set of powers that they like to give themselves). It was called the Lisbon Treaty (so-called because it was signed in Lisbon, in Portugal). The Irish asked their people to vote for this. They said "no". So they voted again, until they said "yes". This was in 2009.
Another load of power. Now, folk, the thing with power is it's a drug. Once you have it, you need more. Like any other addictive drug.
Now they realise they've fucked up majorly by trying to bring expensive countries (Germany) in line with the cheap ones (Greece). They forget to mention that Greece's accounts were bent as a nine-bob note, but because people in the EU should have seen it coming, it got swept under the carpet.
So they need another treaty. So they can rob countries of money (well, not countries, more you and me, really), so they can prop it up. And it will happen, again and again and again. This treaty is called the ... actually, I have no idea. I don't care. I know Slovakia voted "no". So they made them vote again until they said "yes".
So you know as much as me now. It sounds simple, because it is.