Mostly Bollogs, I'm afraid

But occasionally, a glimmer of truth.
If you find one, please let me know.

Tuesday, 11 October 2011


This is what I'd do if I was PM for one day.

Barroso, von Rompuy: Sod off. That's it. No, no discussion. Bye.

Banks: the value of your gambling can go down as well as up. Live with it. Ditto investors, shareholders.

Income tax. Bye.

HMRC. Bye.

Petrol will be three quid a gallon and will fund everything. Get stuck in.

Whitehall: Bye.

We drive on the left, we speak English, we do not do war. OK? Good.

Those who lent the country money under previous misguided regimes: Whoops.

Entrepreneurs: start a healthcare scheme, please, also bin emptying services, recycling, anything you like. Also, car parking is free. Sorry, NCP. Find another way. Maybe wash the cars.

There is no council tax, for there is no council. Bye.

Nurses, teachers, other useful types: the entrepreneurs will look after you.

See what happens, eh?

Any questions?


If you're skint you'll be fed.

Farmers. Grow what you like. You know more about it than I do.

Gays: you can marry who you like, where you like. It's nothing to do with me. Wear a fucking dress if you want.

Any more questions?


jkne said...

All good, but
What about policing?

Captain Ranty said...

Looks good to me.

jkne-all towns to elect a police chief and hire old school peace keepers.


HitmanHatter35 said...

Petrol will never raise enough revenue. Split banks from investment arms, make them sort out there own fuck ups in the market. Tell barroso and rompuy to fuck off not just sod off. Join NAFTA, establish a Commonwealth Free Trade Zone, mugabe can`t join though, hes a cunt. Spend money we save from not being in eu on redeveloping rail networks, city regeneration and armed forces.

Bring back our passports , annex france for holiday homes, build big wall round it to keep everyone else out , including the french

jkne said...

If/when the system collapses as we know it, this is the best backup plan! We can take care of ourselves.

What about criminals and prisoning?

Captain Ranty said...


I like the system of outlawry.

If you break the law (and you then abscond without facing a local court) you become an outlaw. You are afforded no protection under the law until you have been judged by a group of your peers. Alternatively/as well as being outlawed, the people can hire bounty hunters to go and fetch the baddie and bring him/her to book.

Gaols will only be needed for those who cause harm, injury or loss.


Anonymous said...

In Tio's new order we won’t need police.

Time for some more QE stimulus I think.

That’s Quality Executions of any scrotes who cross the line big time. Break into my house, get killed, harm my kids, get killed, shout about your human rights after you have committed a crime against an OAP get killed. Kill a policeman, nurse in fact anyone decent get killed.

Do the right thing, pull your weight, do something good, anything, something simple, an altruistic kindly act, make someone’s day. But just don’t prod, prick or interfere with mine, or indeed anyone else's life, follow those little guidelines and everything will be fine. Vote for Tio.

New World Order 3.0