Agents

Let me describe a certain kind of person to you, and you guess who it is.

Mainly blokes, who ring you, and call you "mate", and say "sounds cool" quite a lot. They wear suits, although they don't know why they do, as they never see clients or victims.

Average age: 19. Average height: 5'8". Average colour: white. Average intelligence: akin to that of a mollusc which doesn't quite understand why it hasn't evolved since a million years BC.

Hungry for money. Cares not a jot about its job; its client; its victims. Calls himself by his first name, which is invariable Tom, Chris, Wayne or Darren, is cagey about telling you about the "client" for whom he is prostituting himself.

Knows little, if anything, about that of which he speaks. Thinks quickly on his feet though, and fools the client, yet not the victim.

Ladies and gentlemen, I gave you "THE JOB AGENT."

I intend to make ONE MILLION POUNDS from this industry this year. I need some help, preferably a) from the inside; b) from someone who, like me and like them has no moral scruples; c) feels the same as me about the industry. Advantages would include being supremely confident, full of shit, and balls the size of Belgium.

I have someone in mind. She might not be up for it as she is is Greek. Another is Antipodean and may, again not be interested.

Ah well. Offers in the comments, please. I'm serious.