Ban The Man

I see, courtesy of Tory Totty Online, that Ms Harperson has now boldly gone behind the bid to ban the term "chairman" for being sexist.

I'm old enough, and dragged up enough, to expect to hold the door open for a lady. Me being a chap, and all that, it's what I expect. And I expect to give up my seat to a lady as well if there's a spare seat and the lady in question hasn't got the look of a bulldog chewing a wasp.

I have done these things, though, and been treated to the most disgusted of looks. Looks that say "You're no better than me" and ask "What, do I look pregnant to you?"

I am also not sexist. I work in a fairly male-dominated environment because, for some reason, the kind of people who work the kind of huge plant in which I work tend to be big hairy blokes. But there are ladies too. Some are big hairy ladies, some are quite stylish ladies. The ladies tend to do what I would see as lady jobs, these being Elfin Safety and Administrative things. But then one of the ladies deals with the manly jobs such as transport, and one deals with the anger of truckers who grace our portals for about 18 hours of the day and, although she is one of the more stylish ladies, I wouldn't want to be on the wrong end of an argument with her.

We don't have many indigenous idiots here. We have plenty who hail from what they call the "central function", this being the empire from which all things come. And, actually, all but one of the idiots in my circle of acquaintance are men. Only one is a lady. A stylish lady at that, though an idiot nevertheless.

We also have reps, with whom we have to deal. Some are rubbish and we try to feign absence when they come. Some are good. Some are even better because they bring gifts of coffee mugs and calculators and Swiss army knives and even small tool kits, which we like. These latter ones comprise of two ladies. Most of the good are ladies. One of the good is a chap. All the rubbish ones are chaps.

We have to go to some meetings, even though these are a waste of time, as are all meetings which aren't held in a pub. The meetings have chairpeople - sometimes men, sometimes ladies. I try to avoid the meetings where the chairman is a man. The ladies seem to do it better. I don't know why, but I know that it is true.

Now, Ms Harperson, may I be the first one to point out that what you are backing here is an utter, uncompromised pile of cack? Thank you.

I'd also like to point out, as an aside, that ladies are a different sex from men. I know it is hard to believe. But yes, they really are. And they tend to be better at some things than men. And vice-versa.

Live with it, bitch.