Some people are homophobic ...

GET OVER IT.

I am utterly fed up with everything being shoved in my face. There's another huge red sign up on the hoarding round the corner, from Stonewall, saying in big letters that some people are gay. And then saying in letters just as big that I should get over it. I wasn't under it to start with.

Some people are gay. I know they are glad to be gay, because Tom Robinson sang so. I don't really give a toss, even if George Michael does, whether they're gay or not; I'm just glad my parents weren't because, had they been, I wouldn't be here.

Some people are football supporters. I'm not.

Some people like "Britain's got Talent" and "Strictly". I've never seen either and nor do I wish to.

I don't think that I largely like football supporters. I except, maybe, my mate Dominic who was born a generation after me and supports some football team or other. I don't know which one, so I don't think he's an activist or a fanatic.

I don't think that I largely like people who are fans of "Britain's" or "Strictly", either. That's mainly because, in my humble opinion, the kind of people who are fans of this mindless rubbish are mindless and, well, rubbish. However, I happen to know that my kids watch such rubbish, because their mum does, but they know that they are not going to hold a conversation with me about mindlessness of any kind, let alone the televisual kind. So I don't regard them as fans, as such.

I don't believe that any of my kids are gay. Or lesbian, which I thought was gay but female-gay, but clearly isn't otherwise there would be no such thing as LGBT, which I previously thought was a sandwich until I looked it up on Wikipedia. I don't think my kids are bi-anything. Or trans-anything either. I suspect that they would tell me if they were, or that I would notice.

I don't think that I largely like gay people. Apart from one, who is called Paddy, and because he's not Irish I can only imagine that this must be because he gets stroppy sometimes. Anyway, he's a decent lad and I have had far too much to drink with him on a couple of occasions. And the only reason I know he's gay is because about a hundred people told me that he is.

But my research (I use the term loosely and as a euphemism for looking on Wikipedia) has shown me that I am a homophobe. If someone had decided to publish (another euphemism for "made up") a psychological disorder to describe people who don't much care for football supporters or people who watch crap telly, and called it wankaphobia, I would also be wankaphobic.

I don't like Mandelson. I don't have to like him. I dislike him because I see him as standing for all the things that I detest about this last government, New Labour. I detest Brown too. And Blair. But I don't detest Mandelson particularly because he's gay. I don't detest Brown particularly because he's Scottish. And I don't particularly detest Blair because he was the main driving force behind the smoking ban. All of things help me detest these people, but I would have detested them, and all that they stand for, anyway.

So I don't care, is what I'm saying. I don't mind being labelled. Just get out of my face.

And Stonewall, whoever and whatever you are, I'd like to point out that you are doing far more harm than good.

I'll leave Old Holborn to do his Joo thing. I'm doing the gay thing today.