Contradictory Targets

It is not acceptable to miss the government target of having neighborhood PCs on patrol for at least 80% of the time.

80%? Now there's an arbitrary stab in the dark at a figure that might get some votes.

And it's not only contradictory, it's counter-productive.

I know from a mate who is a Plod (retd) (emigrated) that a Plod likes being on patrol, especially if he's in a car with a heater, or the weather's nice.

Hopefully, there will be no villains, such as wanton smokers, to ruin his day.

There can be two reasons for Plod to patrol. One is that the villains, such as wanton smokers, are put off their nefarious little plans by the very presence of PC Plod. The other is that the patrolling Plod might even detect the villain pursuing his felonius plan, or catch the evil smoker smoking.

I like the former option. The latter is where promotion lies, though. A target met. A crime detected and solved, and someone fined and/or banged up.

But wait! Unless it's the ubiquitous FPN, £50 for a smoke, £whatever for dropping litter/dog shit, there is PAPERWORK to do. Plod does not lke paperwork. Paperwork is dull, tedious but clearly necessary for without paperwork there is no statistic. And Plod needs to be on the beat for 80% of the time.

So if Plod catches villain/smoker, Plod's 80% is going to drop. And this is unacceptable.

If Plod does not catch villain.smoker, Plod's arrest target is not met.

Honestly, that's how it works. I know some Plod, and many are good blokes, who want to do a good job. Many are not. Regardless, they are fucked, because they have to work to targets, rules, paperwork, all imposed by this regime who think that you can measure everything in terms of cash and percentages, because some American twat, whose name I can't remember, sold the concept to British (and American) business back in the early 80's.

Note that most British business, the ones who are still left, have since abandoned all that shit. Some have not, and they are now deeply entrenched in shit and paperwork and Elfin Safety.

Well done, Jonah. Yet more evidence of the inability to discover arse location with both hands and a map.