The Smokers' Collective wants England's imminent review of anti-bullshit laws to consider such measures to protect the gullible.
It says that visiting a doctor results in illness and drug-taking, figures which it says are 'cast-iron' and 'backed-up by statistics'.
But doctors say 'we are trying to make people better'.
A doctor, recently.
Mathematicians have taken a survey of 300,000 people who went to a doctor's surgery in the last week, and compared their general health with a control sample, again of 300,000 people who had not visited the doctor recently. There was a staggering correlation between the poor health of those who had visited the doctor, over 90% of them suffering from real health disorders (with the remainder suffering from a psychological condition known as hypochondria), whereas in the 300,000 non-visiting people there was a remarkable tendency toward being healthy, with over 95% of them reporting no symptoms of any illness at all.
"This is conclusive proof that doctors are hazardous to ones health", said a spokesman, "therefore we insist on the ban gong ahead before May 6th, after which some sort of sensibility might ensue, thus rogering our chances of yet more wanton bansturbation."