Couple of poor lads have topped themselves using a dodgy drug known as Methedrone.
Peer pressure, I expect. Or just fed up with the constant battering from the establishment. Or possibly the sudden realisation that a promising future might have gone down the toilet because, oh dear, someone has spunked all the money on banking, insurance, horseshit and advertising. I could go on, but I'd be beating a drum in a desert, I think.
Look. When I was a lad of that age, it was pretty unusual to find a chap who didn't smoke, drink, puff hash, even dabble in a bit of horse, coke or acid. For fuck's sake.
So let the bansturbators out of their little boxes, this might even get a couple of votes.
I suggest a blanket ban on any sort of adhesive, including evo-stik, araldite, UHU, cyanoacrylates as well as most household products, fuels, incendiary devices, fertilisers and bananas.
Bananas? Look it up.
I have another solution. Repeal the last twelve years-worth of stupid, unenforceable, pointless sabre-rattling laws. Put the last twelve years of hell-making behind us. Start again. Give the lads and lasses something to do.
That would work.
And, in addition, line up the perps in front of a firing squad and lets have the biggest, best fuckoff party we can have.
That last bit was just for my own personal pleasure, you understand.