Mostly Bollogs, I'm afraid

But occasionally, a glimmer of truth.
If you find one, please let me know.

Wednesday, 27 June 2012


I was born.

Long time ago, I know. I was a kid, we did stuff. We got education. We grew up.

Some of us became engineers. Some musicians, ma'am. Some work in TESCO.

Some went to public skool and became politicians and made law. Some went to public skool and became barristers and lawyers and made money out of law.

Some became judges and they're pretty much useless cunts.

My point is this:

I was a kid, I grew up. What right do these turds have to decide my life?

I think this:


Tuesday, 26 June 2012

To Her Most Gracious Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

Your most gracious Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II,

Forgive my impudence as I crave your attention to my most humble blog.

I was a very young copper in 1974, walking the beat in the mid evening in Guildford with my Sergeant.

As we walked down from the top of North Street, through a passageway, discussing the weather, as one does, there was a terrific explosion. We rushed in the direction of the noise to discover confused, bleeding people rushing from the Horse and Groom pub. The scene was covered in broken glass shards from the windows, and quite a lot of blood. Young and useless as I was, I was directed to the road junction several yards down the hill to direct traffic away from the scene. A short while later, another explosion followed and I was greeted by various body parts flying past, which I later discovered were from another pub in the passageway opposite, the Seven Stars.

Suffice to say, Your Majesty, that this was imprinted indelibly and in perpetuity upon my memory. I was detailed later to pick up any debris in order to make clear the scene, this debris including a lady's dress shoe containing part of her foot.

The deed was perpetrated by the IRA.

Your Majesty, I have nightmares to this day. I shall spare your Majesty from more detail, but I implore, nay, beseech you, not to shake the hand of that animal tomorrow.

This is my most humble plea, and I commend it to your Majesty's attention with my unfailing loyalty and respect.

Sincerely, Pengy
(name available on request)

Thursday, 21 June 2012



I was going to stop there, but no. Look at this, by 27b/6.

The Chinese have been doing this since forever. No creativity, they rob everything. Sue me.

Google, the tiny, insignificant market force with a turnover not exceeding the GNP of fucking Thailand, tried to break into the market by launching Google Plus, and if the hell that can't beat facebook, there is no hope.

But Louise Mensch, a lady for whom I have the utmost personal respect, and career-wise would not give the steam off my shit, thinks that she can beat that.

Lady. Wrong. You know, I know, that I, personally, got you 100+ votes, which probably got you in. Deny it if you like.

You know what? Give them a sniff of power, and they're the same as the rest.

Louise, please. Come back. Be you again.