Now. I asked the Twitterer known as Lord Credo, ex-government squirrel trainer, whether, if I blog something that "they" (and who are they? The spooks) won't like, will I wake up in a ditch? And he said no.
So I will.
You may like to try this experiment.
Get a member of your family to tell the Salvation Army that they haven't seen you for ages and you're dead worried.
This is what the Sallys will do. They will arrange for you to be contacted via your NHS details. A letter will arrive from the NHS, to you, with the Sally letter inside. DON'T answer it.
You'll get another. And another. And some of these letters will come from, and to, untold places. They'll go to places that you never knew you'd lived in. But more importantly, they'll come from a "unit". The government, or state, have loads of these units.
I'm not saying what these units are. But you know the data protection act, and they're not supposed to hold information about you that they won't reveal to you?
Well, bollocks. All I'm saying.
Off you go. Won't take long before you know what I know.
Oh, and if you don't hear from me, check the ditches.
Thursday, 4 August 2011
Loss
LloydsTSB have lost £3,000,000,000.
Can't understand why.
I've just been down the bank to get out 200 Euros for the kids holidays.
I gave the chap my service card. They have a machine to read those. He didn't put it in though. He got a form out of the drawer, a triplicate form. He put some X's in it, then my account number and sort code and name. Written in capitals, in pen. He gave it to me to sign. He then got the key for the Euro Locker, and disappeared for ten minutes. He came back with Euros. He then typed into his workstation what he'd written on the form. He then went under the desk and turned it off and back on again. He then put those numbers in again and wiggled the touchpad a lot, then hit return about 15 times.
He then counted out the Euros. Twice. He returned to the touchpad for another wiggle. And a couple of returns for luck.
He tore off the front piece of the triplicate form and wrapped the Euros in it. He put one in the drawer, and one on the spike.
20 fucking minutes. The queue was out of the door when I left.
I don't know HOW they lost £3,000,000,000. No idea at all.
Someone will know why they do this.
Can't understand why.
I've just been down the bank to get out 200 Euros for the kids holidays.
I gave the chap my service card. They have a machine to read those. He didn't put it in though. He got a form out of the drawer, a triplicate form. He put some X's in it, then my account number and sort code and name. Written in capitals, in pen. He gave it to me to sign. He then got the key for the Euro Locker, and disappeared for ten minutes. He came back with Euros. He then typed into his workstation what he'd written on the form. He then went under the desk and turned it off and back on again. He then put those numbers in again and wiggled the touchpad a lot, then hit return about 15 times.
He then counted out the Euros. Twice. He returned to the touchpad for another wiggle. And a couple of returns for luck.
He tore off the front piece of the triplicate form and wrapped the Euros in it. He put one in the drawer, and one on the spike.
20 fucking minutes. The queue was out of the door when I left.
I don't know HOW they lost £3,000,000,000. No idea at all.
Someone will know why they do this.
Death
I'm the only one who hasn't done death penalties yet.
So this is what I think. Probably.
I think our legal system is an abortion. Years ago, being a broadly Christian country, which is a bit odd, Jesus being from somewhere vaguely in the middle east who didn't speak any English, we based our few laws on the Ten Commandments.
The first three went to the wall ages ago. The God one, the idols one and the blasphemy one.
Then the next two went with the Sunday trading law and most people realising their parents were actually wronguns.
That's half of them. The other half are a bit different, and we sort of go with them. Apart from adultery, which appears to be pretty much mandatory. Oh, and coveting. That's wanting stuff you can't afford, pretty much. For that, there's VISA.
So we're left with theft, slander/libel, and murder.
Let's deal with these? Theft. Nicking stuff that isn't yours. Like tweets. Or simply unauthorised taking of money. The state does this one. Daily. Weapons-grade theft. But you mustn't. OK? Fair enough. And if you DO nick stuff from people then probably you should have to give it back, plus the same again. That would be fair and just, to my simple mind.
Slander/libel. That's where you say someone did something or said something, and they didn't. It's there so people can get rich by hoping someone will say or write something about them and then they can get a pile of compensation for it. I think that one's a bit silly, so scrap it.
That leaves murder. Murder is quite an easy one. It means that you kill someone, pretty much. There can be many reasons why you'd do this. Well, not YOU, obviously, but some people. Now, there is NO WAY on earth or in heaven that anything other than killing someone could be construed as punishable by death. No sir.
But, is it possible that, for those who are REALLY evil, their death is an appropriate punishment? I think so. I don't believe the maxim that "people only do evil, they are not evil". Because that's bollocks. Some people are evil. Hitler was evil, I reckon. He might have been mentally ill, but evil nevertheless. Happens now and again. Probably Saddam Hussein. Possibly more than one of our great illustrious leaders, not mentioning any Mandelsons. Or Blairs. Who killed people, not by pulling the trigger, but as good as.
Ever watched a film and hoped the evil baddie dies horribly, painfully and messily before the end? I have. And they usually do. Does that make me wrong? Evil? And you?
Right, this is what you're thinking now. What if someone is killed by the state and subsequently found to be not guilty? They've just been locked up for 25 years. That's OK. The state can compensate them by giving them a bucketload of cash. Yeah. Right. That's fair? Compensation? Fuck off. And this happens. And I KNOW, for a fact, that our legal system is a pile of steaming shit. Some ponced up twat with a degree in law smarming his way round a judge. There's NO FUCKING JUSTICE there. It's who can afford the best one wins. And I didn't make this shit up. I was told this by more than one solicitor, more than one barrister, and a judge.
Fred West, Myra Hindley, The Yorkshire Ripper, the Soham Cunt. If the proof was there ...
Now come on. Get off your "don't trust the state" high horse. No, I don't trust them either. I wouldn't trust them to look after my dog while I went to the shops. But, when it's proven, 100%, cut, dried. What do you REALLY think?
I'd pull the fucking lever.
So this is what I think. Probably.
I think our legal system is an abortion. Years ago, being a broadly Christian country, which is a bit odd, Jesus being from somewhere vaguely in the middle east who didn't speak any English, we based our few laws on the Ten Commandments.
The first three went to the wall ages ago. The God one, the idols one and the blasphemy one.
Then the next two went with the Sunday trading law and most people realising their parents were actually wronguns.
That's half of them. The other half are a bit different, and we sort of go with them. Apart from adultery, which appears to be pretty much mandatory. Oh, and coveting. That's wanting stuff you can't afford, pretty much. For that, there's VISA.
So we're left with theft, slander/libel, and murder.
Let's deal with these? Theft. Nicking stuff that isn't yours. Like tweets. Or simply unauthorised taking of money. The state does this one. Daily. Weapons-grade theft. But you mustn't. OK? Fair enough. And if you DO nick stuff from people then probably you should have to give it back, plus the same again. That would be fair and just, to my simple mind.
Slander/libel. That's where you say someone did something or said something, and they didn't. It's there so people can get rich by hoping someone will say or write something about them and then they can get a pile of compensation for it. I think that one's a bit silly, so scrap it.
That leaves murder. Murder is quite an easy one. It means that you kill someone, pretty much. There can be many reasons why you'd do this. Well, not YOU, obviously, but some people. Now, there is NO WAY on earth or in heaven that anything other than killing someone could be construed as punishable by death. No sir.
But, is it possible that, for those who are REALLY evil, their death is an appropriate punishment? I think so. I don't believe the maxim that "people only do evil, they are not evil". Because that's bollocks. Some people are evil. Hitler was evil, I reckon. He might have been mentally ill, but evil nevertheless. Happens now and again. Probably Saddam Hussein. Possibly more than one of our great illustrious leaders, not mentioning any Mandelsons. Or Blairs. Who killed people, not by pulling the trigger, but as good as.
Ever watched a film and hoped the evil baddie dies horribly, painfully and messily before the end? I have. And they usually do. Does that make me wrong? Evil? And you?
Right, this is what you're thinking now. What if someone is killed by the state and subsequently found to be not guilty? They've just been locked up for 25 years. That's OK. The state can compensate them by giving them a bucketload of cash. Yeah. Right. That's fair? Compensation? Fuck off. And this happens. And I KNOW, for a fact, that our legal system is a pile of steaming shit. Some ponced up twat with a degree in law smarming his way round a judge. There's NO FUCKING JUSTICE there. It's who can afford the best one wins. And I didn't make this shit up. I was told this by more than one solicitor, more than one barrister, and a judge.
Fred West, Myra Hindley, The Yorkshire Ripper, the Soham Cunt. If the proof was there ...
Now come on. Get off your "don't trust the state" high horse. No, I don't trust them either. I wouldn't trust them to look after my dog while I went to the shops. But, when it's proven, 100%, cut, dried. What do you REALLY think?
I'd pull the fucking lever.
Libbies
I hate tribalists. Bloody people.
I know many who are tribalists. They are Tories. Evil Tories. And Socialists. And Liberals. They're all bonkers. I understand why they are ists. They are ists because they don't like the other ists.
So, socialists think Tories are evil. They think this because they think that the Tories are very rich and want the bosses to be very rich and the workers to go down the pit and die so the workers can wear top hats. No, really. They think the Tories want to close down the shitheap that the NHS has become and that if people want to live on McDonalds and pies and then get gastric bands to keep them alive so they can carry on eating McDonalds and pies, then that's OK, but the EVIL TORIES want to close that down and when they become obese, like Eric Pickles, they will be able to afford to go private with the money they stole from the oppressed workers. Really, they think that.
Tories hate socialists because socialists want people to come out of the pits and wear top hats, and they want Tories to pay for them. Really. And socialists want everyone to earn the same, because that's only fair. So Tories hate them.
Liberals hate everyone because they never get in to government. Unfortunately they're now in, with the Tories. So socialists hate them. And so do the Tories, because they can't do what they want. And now everyone hates them because Nick Clegg is a smug cunt.
But there are others. They are Libertarians. They want liberty. And freedom. And a smaller state. There are more and more of them. They don't hate anyone. Except other Libertarians.
And this is why they're all cunts. Because they don't fucking know WHAT they want. They know what they DON'T want. And they argue with each other about who is the best Libertarian. They'd be OK if someone uninvented the term Libertarianism, because then they wouldn't be ists. Then they could start again instead of trying to conform to something. They are non-conformists. Trying to conform to a paradigm of non-conformity.
Daft.
I would like freedom (we don't have that much of it despite what you're spoon-fed) and liberty (ditto) and a VERY MUCH smaller state. I would like that quite a lot. But I'm not a Libertarian. I'm not an anything. Possibly anarchist is closest, because I don't believe that I, you or your hamster needs any sort of state. Society isn't a state. Bees have it. And ants. They do OK. They don't tend to murder each other too much. They sort of look up to the wisest bee or ant. And they do what they need to do to eat and shag.
That's just what I think. I hope someone argues, cos I'm bored out of my skull today.
I know many who are tribalists. They are Tories. Evil Tories. And Socialists. And Liberals. They're all bonkers. I understand why they are ists. They are ists because they don't like the other ists.
So, socialists think Tories are evil. They think this because they think that the Tories are very rich and want the bosses to be very rich and the workers to go down the pit and die so the workers can wear top hats. No, really. They think the Tories want to close down the shitheap that the NHS has become and that if people want to live on McDonalds and pies and then get gastric bands to keep them alive so they can carry on eating McDonalds and pies, then that's OK, but the EVIL TORIES want to close that down and when they become obese, like Eric Pickles, they will be able to afford to go private with the money they stole from the oppressed workers. Really, they think that.
Tories hate socialists because socialists want people to come out of the pits and wear top hats, and they want Tories to pay for them. Really. And socialists want everyone to earn the same, because that's only fair. So Tories hate them.
Liberals hate everyone because they never get in to government. Unfortunately they're now in, with the Tories. So socialists hate them. And so do the Tories, because they can't do what they want. And now everyone hates them because Nick Clegg is a smug cunt.
But there are others. They are Libertarians. They want liberty. And freedom. And a smaller state. There are more and more of them. They don't hate anyone. Except other Libertarians.
And this is why they're all cunts. Because they don't fucking know WHAT they want. They know what they DON'T want. And they argue with each other about who is the best Libertarian. They'd be OK if someone uninvented the term Libertarianism, because then they wouldn't be ists. Then they could start again instead of trying to conform to something. They are non-conformists. Trying to conform to a paradigm of non-conformity.
Daft.
I would like freedom (we don't have that much of it despite what you're spoon-fed) and liberty (ditto) and a VERY MUCH smaller state. I would like that quite a lot. But I'm not a Libertarian. I'm not an anything. Possibly anarchist is closest, because I don't believe that I, you or your hamster needs any sort of state. Society isn't a state. Bees have it. And ants. They do OK. They don't tend to murder each other too much. They sort of look up to the wisest bee or ant. And they do what they need to do to eat and shag.
That's just what I think. I hope someone argues, cos I'm bored out of my skull today.
Wednesday, 3 August 2011
Weird
Twitter is weird. I went for lunch yesterday with the lovely @_AngryM_. I follow her and she follows me. We both follow some other peeps, and some of them follow us. If you see what I mean.
I looked at her Blackberry (spits) and she looked at my iPhone (yay).
But looking at her timeline it was like a different app altogether.
Odd. Maybe it's just me. I invited some peeps to our tweetup (pissup) and she had no idea who they were. Nor did I, come to that.
Maybe it's just me. Probably is.
Microcosms and shit.
That's all.
I looked at her Blackberry (spits) and she looked at my iPhone (yay).
But looking at her timeline it was like a different app altogether.
Odd. Maybe it's just me. I invited some peeps to our tweetup (pissup) and she had no idea who they were. Nor did I, come to that.
Maybe it's just me. Probably is.
Microcosms and shit.
That's all.
People
I have been asked by people about people.
The people who were with me last night, for the benefit of those who didn't know them and still don't.
If I missed you, tell me.
In no order at all:
Me
@_AngryM_
@DarthMeerkat
@mario426
@Girlie4
@PME200
@fleetstreetfox
@Lord_Credo
@Art_Li
@obotheclown
@StarShaped_Girl
@NikNakOnCrack
@browneyedsally
@machecazzodici
@reporterboy
@MarkStamps
@feinics11
@ThatSpidey
@PeterMannionMP
@MisanthropeGirl
@Fat_Jacques
Not bad. Nice people.
The people who were with me last night, for the benefit of those who didn't know them and still don't.
If I missed you, tell me.
In no order at all:
Me
@_AngryM_
@DarthMeerkat
@mario426
@Girlie4
@PME200
@fleetstreetfox
@Lord_Credo
@Art_Li
@obotheclown
@StarShaped_Girl
@NikNakOnCrack
@browneyedsally
@machecazzodici
@reporterboy
@MarkStamps
@feinics11
@ThatSpidey
@PeterMannionMP
@MisanthropeGirl
@Fat_Jacques
Not bad. Nice people.
Monday, 1 August 2011
Anarchy
Hello, Metropolitan Police.
I understand you're looking for information about anarchists? According to the Guardian, you are.
Here I am. I'm an anarchist. An anarchist is someone who espouses the philosophy that the state is useless, undesirable and harmful. Yup, that's me.
I'm afraid I don't yet go round setting fire to great public buildings, although there are a few shoved up in the 60's that desperately need it. But I can tell you that the state, as it is today, is all of the above. It's actually one big mindjob that is self-perpetuating, a huge waste of time and money and resource.
My kids told me the other day that anarchists are evil. They learned this at school. It's OK, I've put them right. They're anarchists too, now. I call them Spartacus and Spartacus. If possible, perhaps you'd put them in the same chokey as me, if that's possible, as I'd like to see that they are not brainwashed any more than they have been already.
Anyway, if you want me, Google will give you the IP address. Or simply leave an email address or phone number in the comments, and I'll pop round. I'll be in London all day tomorrow, so if you let me know which Nick you like me to come to in order to hand myself in, that'll save time. I shall probably be shitfaced.
Alternatively, there was a cop, one of yours, the Met, who had paedo photos of my kids. He got 2½ years for it. He knows where I am. I don't have his address, as he was out in 9 months and was given another identity. By you, I assume. And is now anonymously sitting somewhere, probably at a PC, grooming his next victims.
Anyway. Bye for now.
Oh, by the way. I think I might be the only anarchist, actually. Perhaps if there are any others they could say so in the comments.
Jesus (aka Spartacus).
I understand you're looking for information about anarchists? According to the Guardian, you are.
Here I am. I'm an anarchist. An anarchist is someone who espouses the philosophy that the state is useless, undesirable and harmful. Yup, that's me.
I'm afraid I don't yet go round setting fire to great public buildings, although there are a few shoved up in the 60's that desperately need it. But I can tell you that the state, as it is today, is all of the above. It's actually one big mindjob that is self-perpetuating, a huge waste of time and money and resource.
My kids told me the other day that anarchists are evil. They learned this at school. It's OK, I've put them right. They're anarchists too, now. I call them Spartacus and Spartacus. If possible, perhaps you'd put them in the same chokey as me, if that's possible, as I'd like to see that they are not brainwashed any more than they have been already.
Anyway, if you want me, Google will give you the IP address. Or simply leave an email address or phone number in the comments, and I'll pop round. I'll be in London all day tomorrow, so if you let me know which Nick you like me to come to in order to hand myself in, that'll save time. I shall probably be shitfaced.
Alternatively, there was a cop, one of yours, the Met, who had paedo photos of my kids. He got 2½ years for it. He knows where I am. I don't have his address, as he was out in 9 months and was given another identity. By you, I assume. And is now anonymously sitting somewhere, probably at a PC, grooming his next victims.
Anyway. Bye for now.
Oh, by the way. I think I might be the only anarchist, actually. Perhaps if there are any others they could say so in the comments.
Jesus (aka Spartacus).
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