Menschn.

Jesus.

I was going to stop there, but no. Look at this, by 27b/6. http://www.27bslash6.com/p2p2.html

The Chinese have been doing this since forever. No creativity, they rob everything. Sue me.

Google, the tiny, insignificant market force with a turnover not exceeding the GNP of fucking Thailand, tried to break into the market by launching Google Plus, and if the hell that can't beat facebook, there is no hope.

But Louise Mensch, a lady for whom I have the utmost personal respect, and career-wise would not give the steam off my shit, thinks that she can beat that.

Lady. Wrong. You know, I know, that I, personally, got you 100+ votes, which probably got you in. Deny it if you like.

You know what? Give them a sniff of power, and they're the same as the rest.

Louise, please. Come back. Be you again.

Open letter to David Cameron.

You utter cock.

Prescott

An open letter to Lord Prescott.

Dear John

I liked you. Before the election, we had some banter. When you lost the election, you blocked me. You were smarting from the defeat suffered at the hands of whom we now know to be worse, possibly than your lot, which really is saying something.

You know I don't like politicos. I see them as a carbuncle on the backside of humanity. But you were a bit of fun. Along with Skinner, The Beast, and a few others.

But you remember me well enough to know I can't abide hypocrisy. You said this:

"Well done to everyone who campaigned against #pastytax. Showed how out of touch the Tories are. Now let's slap that VAT on caviar!"

Come on, John. You're not thick. Your tribal lefty followers are, but I'm not partisan.I can't stand the public-school tossers either (although your leader Mr Blair, you know, the one backing you as police chief?) was. Is.

John. Vermin in Ermine, you said once. THAT was funny. Like the Beatles giving back their OBEs but accepting one quietly round the back?

PLEASE. Give the real people a bit of credit. I KNOW all you have to say is Camoron, start a daft hashtag game, and all the pond life on the planet will go with you. Such is fame, fortune (at my expense) and tribalism.

I liked the punch. I supported that. Would have done the same if someone had egged me. I have the picture, I also have the one of Pauline with the bog on her head, it's hanging in my loo. Brilliant.

Please be yourself again. Tony's a tosser, I think you secretly know that. You've got enough money. Make a name for yourself by being a proper, ordinary bloke who hasn't forgotten his roots.

Sincerely

Pengy

Trig and shit

There's an old, old saying
That some people have curly brown hair
Til painted black, it stays that way
And I think it's only fair
To justify this bollocks
Cos I learnt this shit at school
It's the way you used to remember
Not to look a proper tool

These days it's SOHCAHTOA
It means the absolute same.
It sounds like an old volcano
But it's only in the name
I'm a helping you to learn now
How to work out what bollocks is what
So there's Trig and Geometry nailed
And you won't need to swot.

We used to have a base then
And you have adjacent instead
And we had perpendicular
Your opposite's over my head
But the hypowotsit's constant
The one on which we all agrees.
It's the one with all the angles
That adds up to 90 degrees.

So the base and adjacent are sim'lar
The one by the right angle true.
The opposite's right at the other end
My perpendicular too.
So the basis of what I am saying
Is the Cosine of Base over thing
Is the same as adjacent divided by that
And it's that which I will sing.

And the Sine's the same old story
Perpendicular carved up by that
'potenuse or in your modern parlance
Divide it into that.
And the tangent ain't too much to cope with
It's the vertical over the base.
Or the Opposite over adjacent
That truly is the case.

Lola's Homecoming Appeal

I haven't met her in a bar down in old Soho, where they drink champagne and it tastes just like Cherry Cola.

L O L A Lola. @Lola_Peaches on Twitter.

And that, folks, is because she's not IN Soho. She's being help prisoner in a faraway land where there be dragons, and Orcs. I know this, because I've seen Lord of The Rings.

Probably most old beardy, be-sandalled folk would love to be there, miles from civilisation. Guess I would, and I haven't even GOT a beard. But I'd get fed up.

She's fed up too. She's a teen and wants some fun and actual proper people to mingle with.

So do a favour. If you have a spare couple of quid, do pop it into her pot and help her to come back to dear old Blighty. I might even do so myself, if and when I get a job of some sort.

Go on. You know you want to. Make a youngster happy. She's promised me that she'll definitely behave.

Right. Here's the thing you click.

Daniel

I am seeking a job.

An "agent" sent me an email last Friday at 17.30. I looked at the job description and I am a 100% fit for this postition. I rang him. He had gone home. Not unreasonable.

I sent him my CV.

I rang him on Monday. Five times. Ten times on Tuesday. I emailed him three times. I rang him again today (Wednesday). I have had no reply. I know he's in.

I find this rude, and I do not see how he is doing his best for his customer.

I shall link this to the Contracts Director at the firm concerned, if I receive a satisfactory reply from him I might not add to this the name of the company in question.

Do comment if you think that I'm being unreasonable. I can do unreasonable, but it's a bit early so far.

ISP

Cool. I pay a lot of money every month for a service, whereby I can use, and resell, internet services.

I don't use it much but when I do I just expect it to work.

So, today I uploaded a crock of stuff to demonstrate some HTML5/CSS3/AJAX etc, with a Perl backend. And because I'm looking for a new contract I touted it around some agents and suchlike. Then I looked and it didn't work. My homepage wouldn't even load.

I rang the ISP who "fixed" it. When I say "fixed" it, I mean moved it to another server which didn't have Perl installed correctly, or at all, so instead of executing a script it just dumped the source on to the user's screen, so all my code, passwords etc. were there for all to see. So now not only do all my contacts have all my passwords, but also I look a complete idiot.

An hour and a few phone calls later all was again well, assuming it's still working. Actually, I've just had a look. It isn't.

The response was more like "Oh" than "Hell, we'd better credit your account with a few months of service charges.

My question is this: should I say who the company is? Or is this abysmal level of service acceptable these days. Do leave a comment, please.