Mostly Bollogs, I'm afraid

But occasionally, a glimmer of truth.
If you find one, please let me know.

Monday, 10 October 2011


Hey ho.

I'm British. Unlike half the fucking government. is the wonderful citizenship test devised by Martians. It's pants.

Here's my one.

I think you'll agree it is more useful.

  1. How do you spell GUINNESS?
    a) like that
    b) not like that
  2. What shape is a football?
    a) spherical
    b) square
  3. What is the European Union?
    a) a scam
    b) a distant galaxy
  4. What is BEER made of?
    a) hops and malt
    b) milk
  5. What is Belgium famous for?
    a) chocolate and chips
    b) a really good government
  6. What are apples and pears?
    a) stairs
    b) a rubbish fruit salad
  7. Curry is ...
    a) good
    b) bad
  8. Complete the sentence: "An apple a day"
    a) keeps the doctor away
    b) is one of your five
  9. Tony Blair left because
    a) he ran out of money and saw the shit hitting the fan
    b) Gordon was his big mate and he wanted him to have a go
  10. David Cameron can Fuck Off.
    a) true
    b) false

mostly a: you are British.

mostly b: you are clearly some kind of cunt.


Captain Ranty said...

I got all 'A's.

Do I win a fiver?


Anonymous said...

I got confused as I am vulnerable, despite having 12 years of education there is loads of us uncapable to answer these type of trip you up questions. Making it easy for me would have been better as my chances of averaging out would help me fit in more better. I think it’s a ploy for smart people to make them look good, well it won’t work as there are more of me than you. And exams are rubbish as there are brainy people who cant get jobs anymore so why bother and I get loads of money and help from the job centre even though I have never had a job. But I did get 49% on the test so that makes me a winner.

The Filthy Engineer said...

Straight A.....s here as well.

Anonymous said...

That made me laugh - a lot.


Anonymous said...

.. I don't like curry. Did I fail?

Life in the UK Test said...

What are the two key features of the civil service?
[A] Neutrality
[B] Favouritism
[C] Efficiency
[D] Professionalism

This type of questions are ask in British Citizenship Test. Fore more questions and answers visit our site

Life in the UK Test

Life in the UK Test said...

Every non Britishan will write the exam and pass if he/she peminently settle in UK. So make a good practice for life in the UK test.

Life in the UK Test