Microchip

Microchip are a company who manufacture semiconductors, mainly Programmable Interface Controllers (PICs).

In the old days, they were great.

They are now not. NOBODY in the trade will argue with this.

They have replaced their awesome MPLAB with some devil-spawned open-source Java Netbeans pile of dogvomit written by children in garages which is not fit for purpose.

This is not a problem in itself, us engineers ignore it.

But NOW they've withdrawn the awesome product in favour of said dogvomit.

It doesn't work. I don't mean some bits of it don't work, I mean it's an unadulterated pile of irredeemable crap which PROPERLY doesn't work.

If you google it, you ONLY get hits ranging from disappointing to dogvomit.

I suspect, nay KNOW, that this once brilliant, innovative company are run by complete fuckwits, money men, and folk who don't give a shit if nobody uses their products any more.

I hate this world because of that.

Women Bishops

I've been accused of being batshit crazy.

I can't argue with that, obviously. Beer or no beer, I talk a lot of shit a lot of the time. Usually I do it to wind people up.

Here's a subject which can't be taken seriously: Women Bishops.

It's a no-brainer. The Church of England, founded by Henry the Eight so he could legally decapitate a few of his wives for only having daughters, is a proud institution. It's ratified by the Royal Family, descended mainly from people we've spent the last 1000 years at war with, and is based upon centuries upon centuries of music with no discernible consecutive fifths, blokes with frocks, lads with their nadgers cut off so as not to ruin their voices, war, guilt, and the alienation of women. To be honest, pretty much like golf or Freemasonry, apart from the nadger thing.

The main anti-women-bishop argument is that the twelve apostles were men.

Let me help with that. The twelve apostles were Jewish. Half of them were fictitious. Three of them could write and one of those was a doctor. One of them (Judas Iscariot) was a bit of a git and would have shagged his own mother for a fiver.

So no, there is no argument for all Bishops being men. If we have Bishops I suggest that they fit the criteria described heretofore, and that all of them are now dead.

HOWEVER. There is no argument for Bishops. The C of E (Henry's club) has more money than the whole of Africa. Jesus said a lot of stuff (mainly obvious things like there's no pockets in a shroud, camels and needle's eyes, mustard seeds, that kind of thing) and there's no doubt at all that if you follow the "teachings" of the bible you'll vote for Ed Miliband and everyone will get a free unicorn.

Jesus never said "let there be huge buildings and please can you go and murder a load of brown people".

There is a God. I think so. You don't have to agree, and if you don't, you're so more than welcome to ignore anything I say, I will think highly of you if you do. But this is just what I think. This.

We live upon a tiny planet on the Western Spiral Arm of this galaxy, the Milky Way (named after a choclit bar, so it must be good). We're in a tiny solar system (where we go round a hot thing we call the sun, look outside and you might see it), of which there are billions, in this galaxy. Billions, like 1,000,000,000 multiplied by quite a lot.

We are one of billions (see above) of those galaxies in the universe. And there may (or may not) be other universes.

Scientists (Stephen Hawkins, Prof Brian Cox, etc.) think (and not like "I'm pissed, I think this" but more "here's a shedload of data, it's bloody likely that this is so" kind of think) that the Big Bang occurred at the beginning of recognisable time and dumped these billions upon billions of things out of another thing about the size of a Bird's Eye garden pea, fresh as the moment that the pod went pop.

That's what I call a bang.

And whatever did that is pretty awesome, and if you want to call it God, then do. I do.

We understand shit. Richard Dawkins understands less shit than that. He couldn't find his own arse with a map, a headtorch and a GPS.

If you don't believe in "God", and I'm not talking about beardy sky fairies, then I reckon your're pretty much up yourself.

Christians, Islamists, and any petty clubmakers may disagree.

See this face?

Thanks for reading.

996 divided by 12.

996/12?

Start with the 9. 12 doesn't go into 9, so you get 0. NO times does 12 go into 9. Write 0.

0

So, keep going, use the 9. 99. 12 goes into 99, definitely, 99 is bigger than 12.

1 12 is 12. 2 12's are 24. Etc. 8 12's are 96. 9 12's are 108, so it's bloody 8. Not 9.

Write 8. After the 0.

08

Now, 8 12's are 96. So take away that 96 from the 99 you tried to divide it into. 99 take away 96. It is 3.

So replace the 99 (which you already tried) with the 3.

So, instead of the 996, you have 36. Replace the 99 with the 3. 996, replace the 99 with 3. 996, 99(3)6.

Now you have 36.

1 12 is 12, 2 12's are 24, 3 12's are, fuck me, 36! So it's 3. Write it. 3. Write it after the 08.

083

083 is the same as 00000083 or 83. It's bloody goddamned fucking well 83.

There.

Goad

When I were a lad, we went to pubs.

It was a while back. There were folk there called "skinheads". Their raison d'etre was to start a fight.

You could ignore them. Best thing. Tossers.

But if they wanted "bovver", they'd goad. They'd pick. And wind you up. Until you just got so fucking fed up with it you'd start. Then they'd give you a kicking.

That's not free speech. That's just fucking stupid.

Please, people. Free speech is where you say what you want.

Goading is where you get a bite. And a kicking. And if you want, you can call the Plod.

Fuck's sake.

GROW UP. JUST GROW UP.

Deport Him

He's a hate-filled bastard. He has a chip on his shoulder.

Apparently he hasn't committed a crime. Well, if anti-semitism isn't a crime, that's a bit daft. Anyone who doesn't agree with his misguided religious beliefs gets ridiculed.

He incites people to civil disobedience.

He singles out minority groups and has a go at them.

So what if he hasn't committed a crime in the UK? That's simply a problem with UK law. Change it.

So send him to Jordan or somewhere. See if I care.

Who mentioned Abu Qatada? I was talking about Old Holborn.

SNORK!

Silly

Here's a silly little blog.

Disabled folk don't normally choose to be so.

They are up in arms on Twitter because Ian Duncan Smith (IDS) is nicking their bedrooms.

No, he isn't. He's targetting the lazy feckless bastards who could, and don't, work. And good for him. Starve them.

But this is what I hate. SOMEONE, in the opposition (chokes) is calling things the "bedroom tax" and making the disabled folk think they're losing out.

And whatever sick fuck is doing this, to feather their own nest, is an UTTER, UTTER CUNT.

I suspect its the same despicable bastard that murdered Dr David Kelly. Campbell.

Sue me. You'll lose. I'll laugh.

Cyprus

I don't live in Cyprus.

I'm British, not European.

I don't have any Euros.

Therefore I can't get angry reading this.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-21825981

But hold on. I get to the past paragraph.

"Chancellor George Osborne said the UK would compensate any government employees and military personnel whose bank accounts were affected."

Oh, yes I can.

The UK will compensate? What with? The UK doesn't earn any money. It doesn't own any money. It owns huge debts and threatens me (and you) with prison if we don't pay them for it.

Government Employees? Like who? Like those who are out there taking the piss at my expense on fat salaries paid by me when I've forgotten what sun looks like? Who have money to spare that they've shoved in a bank?

Military Personnel? They're government employees too.

So, Mr Fucking Osborne, you're robbing me to pay for Europe's fuckups? Again?

Oh, OK then.