Today I feel like Winston Smith at the end of the book. I think I might have to come out and say I love Big Brother, and submit to the grinning pack of statist tossers, for they have clearly won.
Yesterday the Conservatives announced the best manifesto, in my opinion, since I can remember. "Join us", they cried.
"Coo," quoth I, and "Gor Blimey."
I was chuffed. At last, someone had the balls to say what I think needed saying. Enough of this bansturbation, Big State Red Tape and such.
"Yay!" I cried again.
Then I listened to the BBC, Radio 4, Eddie and the team. They interviewed some typical fellow-countrymen.
Interviewer: "You know who David Cameron is?"
Interviewer "He's the leader of the Conservative Party".
Interviewer: "What do you think of the idea of taking control of your own life?"
Interviewer: "Would you be prepared to volunteer?"
Idiot: "I dunno, like, naah, don't fink so."
This was obviously an isolated incident.
This morning, Radio 4, Humph and the team.
Interviewer: "What about setting up your own school?"
Idiot: "Sounds good."
Interviewer: "Would you like to help?"
Idiot: "Naah, had too many nephews and nieces."
Interviewer: "Do you think it's a good idea?"
Idiot: "Naah, government does all that. I just get along. Other people can do stuff and think."
And I conclude one of the following:
- Big Brother has won. He has, in only 13 years, reduced us to the state-dependent idiocy that he wants us to be.
- The people who I now feel ashamed to call my countrymen have always been pigshit.
Both of my readers will know that I am not normally given to losing it and resorting to the rant. Nor targeting the unfortunate.
In this case, I make an exception. Fuck the lot of them. I give up. I mean it.