I had to turn my radio off yesterday because I can't stand the tit on Radio 2 in the late afternoon, and the only other channel I have bothered to tune in is Radio 4.
It was Barnoess Prosser. Now, this isn't racist, sexist (come on, luvs), classist or anything, but I'd rather shove my knob along a cheese grater than listen to the horrible twangy whiney gratey foul noise that comes out of her gob.
I'm not any sort of class, grew up in council houses mostly, eventually made goodish and bought my own, ended up giving three of them away to the women looking after my kids, live in a shed, fucked up the arse by this government, thanks. So I'm not posh. But I can speak English in an accent that most people can understand most of the time.
I'm sure this is writworthy, so I will try to be careful. Actually, bollocks, no I won't.
Why the bloody hell has she got a Baronetcy anyway? What in the name of quango has she got one for? It isn't hereditary. And she grew up in Battersea. People in Battersea and W. Andsworth don't talk like that. She sounds like a fishwife. And really, I'm not posh, but if that noise came out of Julia Roberts I wouldn't shag her.
Why, Radio 4, are you trying to alienate your listeners? The people who listen to Ed Meyer and Humph aren't the sort of people who want to hear that vile snotlike drivel.
Please don't get me started on what she said. I didn't get that far.