Mostly Bollogs, I'm afraid

But occasionally, a glimmer of truth.
If you find one, please let me know.

Thursday, 4 March 2010


While I'm on the "D" words ...

That's what one is.

I think I knew that already. We had a debating society at school where two chaps (it was a boy's school) had it out with each other on the topic of some old bollocks or other. Some master picked a subject and said something about motions. The two chaps then went away with the task of going for or against the motion. Us mere plebs had to vote on whether we thought that this "motion" was right or wrong, then sit through this and vote again. The winner was the one who changed most minds..


"This house believes that the Fry's Five Boys chocolate bar is better than the Sherbet Dib-Dab"

All boys knew that the Fry's Five Boys was a superior product, and that it had more calories, did not end up all over your face when you tried to eat one, and was actually cheaper. So all boys, except for the weediest, voted thus.

Then the two candidates had to debate the relative merits of the two competing products whilst the unfortunate proletariat pretended to listen, and we had to vote again.

Surprise! Some of the weeds voted for the Five Boys. Some of the staunch Five Boys supporters turned their backs on common sense, and voted Dib-Dab. But mainly, the vote swung in favour of the more skillful debater. And that is good, I suppose, because it is a matter of personal preference, the Five Boys/Dib-Dab conundrum. Well, sort of. I still maintain that the Five Boys was a superior product, even though it was withdrawn from sale when I was still relatively young, and as far as I know the Dib-Dab is still there but now called the Sherbet Fountain, the little lolly replaced by a less messy liquorice stick with a hole up the middle. Good for smashing between your fists and making a sherbetty cloud, but not much else.

I digress. The skillful orator won the day and, sadly for Fry and Company, they lost the battle. Absorbed by one of the confectionery giants, I believe.

Some of the boys who were debaters went to Oxon and Cantab and became politicians. Good for them, I cry.

I'll tell you what, though, and I find this interesting (WAKE UP AT THE BACK).

The chaps might have been a bit liberal in their use of facts. Such things as the Dib-Dab lasted longer, something trivial like that. But never, ever, did I hear that someone had donated to the Dib-Dab campaign from Pakistan (or whatever it was called then). Never, ever, did they accuse Mr Fry of having it off with Mrs Cadbury.

I have been watching some "debates" on Twitter. I respect one or two of the Twits, for various reasons. They are not daft. But, at the drop of a hat, they pick up on odd things and resort to ad hominem attacks, and start behaving like kids in a primary school playground.

Or is it just me?

BTW, apologies to anyone who hasn't the foggiest idea what I'm wittering on about. It was a long time ago, now.

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