Mostly Bollogs, I'm afraid

But occasionally, a glimmer of truth.
If you find one, please let me know.

Monday, 22 March 2010


I am. Are you? I don't care whether you are or not, actually. Egocentric, that is.

We reside, as I was recently reminded by Cold Steel Rain, in an insignificant part of the universe known as the Milky Way galaxy. You will not, unless you are an accomplished mathematician and cosmologist, ever be able to comprehend how insignificant that galaxy is. It is the equivalent of the penny down the back of your sofa compared to the money dished out to all of the world's banks last year. That small. One of the arms of our galaxy (that'll be the swirly bits) known as Orion's arm, or the Western Spiral Arm, contains loads of stars and stuff, an insignificant one of which is a gurt ball of gas which we call the sun. To a small part of the rest of our corner of the galaxy, it's a twinkle, on a very dark, clear night. Round this sun are planets, such as Mercury, Venus and so on. The third from the sun, after Mercury and Venus, is the one on which we live, called Earth.

Yeah, right, Stephen Hawkin, what? What's Marvo waffling on about now, eh?


Earth is a tiny dot. Tiny. But we think of it as big and important. I reside in a tiny island in the middle of a cold and mostly angry sea, called the North Sea. A few years ago, it was inhabited by a handful of wretched people who lit fires to keep warm, for the island is pretty cold most of the time. When they weren't lighting fires they were trying to kill stuff to eat, or picking berries.I suppose they must have fitted in a bit of shagging as well, otherwise everyone would have gone by now.

After a while, some of the bigger/stronger/more aggressive types decided to become kings. This must have been so, unless Boadicea rogered her way into the job. I don't know. History says something about it but it is at best unreliable. The Romans came and civilised the whole shebang, but then they buggered off again and the indigenous Brits reverted to type.

The Brits got invaded by the Vikings, who looted, raped and pillaged and made some of us blond/blonde. Eventually, the Brits got round to invading other people, like most of Europe, and our Kings and Queens ended up shagging foreigners, mainly interbred foreigners, and then started interbreeding themselves. As recently as Victorian times, our King and Queen were first cousins.


Round about the middle of the 1600's, before they'd even invented the toilet, Parliament was formed. It hasn't changed much.

Now, I, sitting here on this giraffe in the middle of the place they call England, am thinking as the centre of the Universe. So are you. You are not looking in from outside. You don't think of the Queen, or Parliament, as the middle with you on the outside. Or even England as a little bit of Europe, mixed with a bit of America. Do you?

If you do, send me a hat and I'll eat it.

I think this next bit might be where I'm awfully wrong. I still think of me at the middle. The computer in front of me is still in front of me. I am not behind it. Above me is a ceiling. I don't think of myself as under it. Out of the window there are big trucks. Far away is a motorway, and down that motorway is London. In London the is a big building and in that big building there are people making decisions, and those decisions are about me. Egocentric me.

I am one person. I know what I want to achieve, because I have kids, and I know what is best for them. When they get much older, they will know, but now, I know.

I shall now get to the point. At last. But bear in mind I'm talking about me. Me me me me me.

People with very good intentions are trying to get something done about the status quo. This is right. The status quo is so far wrong that there is no logical path to right from it, short of a major upheaval. And some people seem to have got a pretty good idea into their heads, viz. to go on strike. I'm not talking Unite, I'm talking Fausty here. A brilliant idea.

I will join in. I will join in because it is all bollocks as it is. People in this Parliament (you know, the sham that started 400 years ago, before they invented the toilet), who know NOTHING about me, my aspirations, who in fact NOTHING apart from their own fantasies, are making decisions on my behalf. NON.

The question I ask, in my usual rambling way is this:

When "we" get what "we" want, presumably a big shake-up, what do "we" do next?

Nobody has asked me what I want.

Have they asked you?


Cold Steel Rain said...

Had a good look at Saturn last night. An excellent opportunity to spend a couple of hours realising just how tiny I am.

What do we do next? Arm the populace. Thats my opinion.

Uncle Marvo said...

I wouldn't trust most of them with a peashooter.

But I think we need to find out what they want. Make a plan of how it can be achieved. Then achieve it. I think the achieving bit is the easiest.

All I hear is "we intend to ...". I have not yet heard "what would you like to ..."

How you fixed for a bit of training?