Mostly Bollogs, I'm afraid

But occasionally, a glimmer of truth.
If you find one, please let me know.

Wednesday, 31 March 2010


As both of my readers know, I really have nothing to say. I only blog to get it off my chest and in the hope that I will elicit a response if I'm reading over 360 on the moral compass.

I do this because I sometimes think that I'm the only sane one in this zoo.

Sadly, neither of my readers has pulled me up even though I have made a point of being politically incorrect. So I thought I should try harder.


I don't like it. It doesn't work. I can't remember when it started being introduced. And I'm entitled to my right not to embloodybrace it, whatever Trevor Macdonald says.

I know, because I can read, that many, many years ago there was slavery. It was started off most recently by some pretty savage white people, mainly Americans, who discovered places where there were not-white people, and because these Americans (who obviously had just been invented and ousted half a dozen redskins) were pretty much self-delusional Godbotherers then obviously the black people were inferior and it followed that they could be made into slaves without upsetting the Divine Plan. It's actually happened since B.C.

More recently, Britain, because we were God's chosen people, had an empire and basically took over anywhere we wanted, such as half of the West Indies, India and most of the rest of the slightly-less-civilised world than Britain itself.

In more recent history, which is the bit when I started remembering rather than reading, we had an influx of non-slaves from these places. India, the Windies. They were referred to by indigenous Britons as "bus drivers".

I don't fully understand the reason why they came. Well, I understand why they wanted to come - because of the "better life (TM)". But I don't fully understand the reason why we (we being the indigenous Brits) wanted them to come. I suspect it was because the indigenous Brits had enough work to go round and we didn't want to do some of the jobs. In fact, I'm 99% certain of this.

There were quite a lot of indigenous Brits at the time who still had the attitude that they were not the same colour as us, or that they had bigger noses, or bigger other things (apparently). So we found words for them such as nigger and coon. These words were, and are, quite offensive to the non-indigenous colourful new Brits, and I don't think it's a bad thing at all that they've gone out of everyday conversational use.

Of course, Britain is a free country and, because they could, the new breed of non-indigenous naturalised Brits bred. Breeding is fun. And so a new generation of indigenous, colourful Brit was born. Now, anyone who has a problem with that is a racist. I don't like racism. I sort of understand it, as I sort of understand most things in my own small way, but I don't subscribe to it.

We have an act - a law, called the Race Relations Act. It was enacted in 1976 and states that it is against the law to discriminate against people on the grounds of race, colour, nationality or ethnic and national origin. It is a Good Law, I think, and stops the driver refusing to let people on the bus because they came from somewhere other than Britain, or because they are brown, yellow, black or green. Or white, for that matter. We shouldn't need a law like that, but we do, because some of us are Bad People.

Since then there have been amendments to it, notably the one in 2000 which says that public bodies must also obey that law. We really didn't need that one, because all laws should apply equally to the person or the public body, and that's half the reason why we're in the state we're in. However, it doesn't matter.

Still later, in 2006, we made another law which is called the Racial and Religious Hatred Act, which states that it is against the law to incite hatred against someone because of their religion, or lack of religion. That went without saying anyway, but NuLab like making laws, being run by lawyers as they are, so we got another law.

Britain has a culture. Even bits of Britain, such as England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland have their own cultures, or sub-cultures. And even further still, bit of England have their own cultures, places such as Norfolk, Cornwall, Northumbria - all slightly different in customs and accents, local foods and so on.

I like to visit other places in Britain to sample their cultures, which are often endearing and quaint. Sadly, because of the need to have everything on tap today, Ginster's lorries are tramping up and down the motorways delivering pasties and, for God's sake, ready-made sandwiches; Rodda's clotted cream is available from Waitrose; haggis can be bought all the year round (and don't try to tell me that McSween didn't change their recipe this year), and my local pub sells real ales from breweries from as far afield as St Austell, Southwold, Edinburgh and all points in between, so I don't have to travel anywhere any more to get the taste of Britain.

I also like to visit other countries, such as France and Spain, and they have their own cultures, quite different from ours in that they even speak a completely different language (even though French was the main language in England for nearly 400 years). But now I can buy membrillo from Waitrose, along with a selection of continental cheese including some obscure ones from El Pais Vasco, so really if I just signed up to a French or Spanish class once a week I wouldn't have to go abroad at all.

I haven't been to India. Someone I know went there and said that you had to ignore the poverty and begging and suchlike, and I don't think I could, so won't bother going. And I don't want to to go to a tourist resort such as Goa, because I want to see culture. And I can get a pretty damned good curry from a couple of places within a couple of miles of me. And I don't much like full-on sun, it burns.

Now, I'm happy that places around this small planet have developed in different ways and have naturally developed different cultures. It is charming, and it is natural, and it is to be encouraged.

I could go to Spain, and speak Spanish, and see bullfighting (in the very few places it still exists). And I do. I can go to France, and speak French, and eat ridiculously and cruelly fattened goose livers made into a pate, and steak from a horse, fresh from the Chevalier. And I do. I can go to a lot of other places and do things which I am not allowed to do here, such as smoke in a pub. And I'm going to do that next week, in Belgium, and I'm going to fail miserably to speak Flemish, because I can't, but I'm going to get the best chips ever. And later, I'm going to do the same in Germany, and fail to speak German, but I'm going to drink steins of their beer and eat proper pretzels.

And then I'm going to come back. Back to good old Blighty which, despite the best efforts of the present administration, is still the country in which I was born, and always will be. And I love her dearly.

And anyone who has come here to live, or to visit is most welcome. All I ask is that you embrace her culture. Her culture encompasses speaking English, as that is the language spoken here. If you can't speak our lanuage, and there's a pretty good chance I can't speak yours, then we'll try to understand you. But don't expect it as a right. Her culture encompasses free speech, eating meat if one wants to, making ones own decision if they don't hurt anyone else, and a penchant (good Lord, is that a French word?) for real ale, pork scratchings and custard or gravy on everything.

So, dear visitor, embrace that.

Or fuck off.

I mean that most sincerely.

Now, moral compass watchers (both of you), am I right or wrong?


Captain Ranty said...

I have been fortunate enough to visit over 70 countries on our little planet. I won't list them, no-one likes a show off. (In any case, 95% of the places I visited were work related).

I have found that the Golden Rule is to fit in. Wherever you are. If their law says you wear a green hat, then I buy a green hat at the airport. Do what the locals do, is my tip to your other reader. This does not mean striding out waist deep to slaughter whales in the Faroes. This does not mean rushing down to the mosque on a Friday. This does not mean self-immolation in Tibet.

It does mean keeping your trap shut about local customs, and national laws. You are a visitor there so your job is to visit, see what you c\ame to see, then fuck off back home where you can complain to your hearts content to your mates (if you have any) down the pub (if you still have one).

As a courtesy, as a minimum, I want foreigners who come here (to live, not just on a jolly) to respect my culture, my customs, and my ways. I don't want them to come here and recreate the place they just fucking left. If they miss it that badly, they can fuck off back there.

In a recent fit of pique, Colonel Gadaffi/Qadaffi/Kaddafi removed all road signs that were written in Arabic and English and replaced them with Arabic only signs. That's me fucked. But there is no point me rushing around gathering signatures and petitioning The Leader because the best I can hope for is deportation. Prison would be a very real option.

So, I do as the Romans do. And when the Romans get here, do as I do.

Fairy nuff?


Uncle Marvo said...

I want the ones who come here on a jolly to behave as well.

I think we might be the culprits - if you go to Britpopular bits of Spain, you will find British Bar, Union Jack, sausage and eggs for brekkie, and Watney's Red Barrel.

So exactly what you say, Ranty. Why bother going there? Britain in the sun?

Captain Ranty said...

Good point.

So we are guilty of it as well. But do we demand that the Spanish try us under English Law? Do we demand that the local Spanish school instructs its teachers to teach our kids in English? Do we demand jobs in Spain just because we are English/British?

Never been to beachy Spain. Been to Madrid three times but I have never spent much time annoying the nationals.


UKipforme said...

Quite agree.

Sounds very like the spech John Howard the ex Australian PM was allaged to have made a couple of years ago.

"Muslims who want to live under Islamic Sharia law were told on Wednesday to get out of Australia , as the government targeted radicals in a bid to head off potential terror attacks.

Separately, Howard angered some Australian Muslims on Wednesday by saying he supported spy agencies monitoring the nation's mosques. Quote: 'IMMIGRANTS, NOT AUSTRALIANS, MUST ADAPT. Take It Or Leave It. I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist attacks on Bali , we have experienced a surge in patriotism by the majority of Australians.'

'This culture has been developed over two centuries of struggles, trials and victories by millions of men and women who have sought freedom'

'We speak mainly ENGLISH, not Spanish, Lebanese, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language. Therefore, if you wish to become part of our society . Learn the language!'

'Most Australians believe in God. This is not some Christian, right wing, political push, but a fact, because Christian men and women, on Christian principles, founded this nation, and this is clearly documented. It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our schools. If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as your new home, because God is part of our culture.'

'We will accept your beliefs, and will not question why. All we ask is that you accept ours, and live in harmony and peaceful enjoyment with us.'

'This is OUR COUNTRY, OUR LAND, and OUR LIFESTYLE, and we will allow you every opportunity to enjoy all this. But once you are done complaining, whining, and griping about Our Flag, Our
Pledge, Our Christian beliefs, or Our Way of Life, I highly encourage you take advantage of one other great Australian freedom,


'If you aren't happy here then LEAVE. We didn't force you to come here. You asked to be here. So accept the country YOU accepted.'"

I liked that one too !

John Pickworth said...

You do need a new moral compass mate.... 360 degrees? I think you meant 180.

But nothing wrong with your logic though.

I've travelled widely and still do (as a privateer). I love to experience the culture of others and will quite often bring elements of it home - be it a liking for new foods, language or fashions etc. Conversely, there are still parts of the world that love all things British (particularly in Asia).

I believe over time, we peoples of the world will adopt each others cultures. This will happen in large part because of modern communications (entertainment, the internet etc) and an increasing freedom to travel. That's fine, its organic, and through natural selection we'll choose the better parts of each other's cultures. History is already littered with examples of this; money systems, measurement, time keeping, calendars, food and language.

Where all this goes wrong is when Governments try to enforce change, to legislate short-cuts in the natural order of things. What's the rush? Those that come here presumingly come because they like our culture. Where's the logic in writing laws that allow them to promote their old, and you'd imagine rejected, former culture over ours?

This is yet another area where we need to go back to the drawing board. If discrimination is wrong (and surely it is) then it follows you only need one law. Once you write a second one, you're slap bang into "some are more equal than others" territory.